GENESIS

2010-08-12T01:12:00.002+08:00

Claiming your promises: Ask and it will be given.

Bless me with a job by the end of next week.
Provide me with insights of what your abundant wisdom has to speak of my life.
Rebuke and correct and guide me in my weaknesses.
Have mercy on me on my laziness, prompt me with your spirit to be disciplined.
Refresh me daily with new knowledge and understanding.
Captivate me with your beauty and everlasting love.
Drown me with spiritual encounters of your miracles and works.
Indulge me in the lessons to be learnt in your wonderful word.
Save me from my despicable sins as you raise me in my self awareness.
Touch me with your sweet spirit and swallow me like never before.
Embrace me with your comfort where I will find peace from the hurts and pain.
Strengthen me to fight against the evils and lead what you have called me.
Make me your honoring leader to bring these people to the next level you have planned.
Anoint me and sustain me to grow in spiritual statue as well as credibility.
I want to know you more.
I need you alot.

2010-07-22T01:21:00.003+08:00

Disappointment.

Hurts.

Frustration.

I need to build myself everyday with your spirit of strength and courage.

Only because this is your cause,
that's why I held on tight.

2010-07-15T02:00:00.002+08:00

Just be you.
You are precious.
And yes, He said you are worthy.
Because He loves you.
You may find yourself filthy,
drowned in the despicables.
But all you need to do is to accept,
the fact that He loves you.

You can rejoice, smile, laugh, cry.
You may jump into the crowd and make a fool of yourself.
You could have make a mess in your life.
You may be condemning yourself in guilt and shame.

But don't you know He says, it's alright?
Turn away from your ways and come to me, I'll give you rest.

Love indeed,
shall surpasses all.
He is enough to sustain.

God is building depth.

2010-07-14T13:16:00.001+08:00

男: 　
(M)
面对面坐著
mian dui mian zuo zhe
眼神不屑一顾
yan shen bu xie yi gu
挤出的笑容　
ji chu de xiao rong
看起来好突兀
kan qi lai hao tu wu
我走错一步　
wo zou cuo yi bu
坠入万丈深谷
zhui ru wan zhang shen gu

*女：
(W)
还是会想起　
hai shi hui xiang qi
你的荒唐糊涂
ni de huang tang hu tu
针刚刺在心上　
zhen gang ci zai xin shang
血流已如注
xie liu yi ru zhu
背叛了幸福　
bei pan le xing fu
拿爱当赌注
na ai dang du zhu

男：曾把感情放逐　
(M) ceng ba gan qing fang zhu
女：何时能结束
(W) he shi neng jie shu
男：遇到你我想停止游牧　
(M) yu dao ni wo xiang ting zhi you mu
女：让爱归真返璞
(W) rang ai gui zhen fan pu

合唱：飘泊会落幕　
(T): piao bo hui luo mu
承诺说得那么铭心刻骨
cheng nuo shuo de na me ming xin ke gu

男：你的眼泪让我无助　
(M) ni de yan lei rang wo wu zhu
女：你懂不懂我为爱忍辱　
(W) ni dong bu dong wo wei ai ren ru
女：努力学习宽恕
(W) nu li xue xi kuan shu
(男：原谅那错误)
(M): yuan liang na cuo wu
女：不甘我们的爱死在半途　
(W) bu gan wo men de ai si zai ban tu

男：听见你的心还在哭
(M) ting jian ni de xin hai zai ku
女：遗忘不及痛蔓延速度　
(W) yi wang bu ji tong man yan su du
希望你能觉悟
xi wang ni neng jue wu
(男：我真的领悟)
(M) wo zhen de ling wu

合唱：伤口慢慢愈合　
T: shang kou man man yu he
再被爱包覆
zai bei ai bao fu

2010-07-14T01:06:00.002+08:00

There is a time for Everything - Ecclesiates 3

It might be God's will that I happen to see this on a passing blog.
Indeed that there will be a time for everything.

A time where we're born,
A time where it's time to pass away.

A time to build,
A time to tear down what's left behind.

A time for laughter,
A time for tears and weeping.

A time to persevere and keep searching,
A time to give up and say NO.

There will be limits in the things we do and the way we act.
The determining difference tells our maturity.

Am I learning?

2010-07-04T14:39:00.003+08:00

Hmm. Super long since I posted anything.

Maybe majority might thought that I've ended this blog.

Heh.

Was reminded about my last year impossible Birthday wish by a brother, so here I am evaluating it. And to post up my new birthday wishlist 2010! ha.

This was what I mention last year.....

1. Macbook Pro 17" - Not achievable as yet
2. 3G iphone - Got something better: 3Gs!
3. 15.1 Megapixels Canon Camera - Found something better: iphone applications can take nice photos too. I don't need a professional camera. Heh.
4. GUESSTM Spectacles plus 1 year supply of daily color contact lenses - Got one from Dior instead! And oh yeah, I've got my supplies of color contact lenses, in a way, enough to last for 2010 weekends. heh.
5. Topshop Shirt: White in pale blue strips - Might have lose interest in it? lol.
6. HP 4 in one Printer - Macbook more important. keke.
7. DKNY Green Apple Perfume - I got it!
8. Makeover for SKIN & HAIR - Yes for my hair! And for skin? I think I don't need it. lol.
9. My Own ROOM - Under persuasion... heh heh...
10. SketchBook from ART Friend; earth friendly series - I got it!
11. Fine Dining by Esplanade, 3rd Floor - I went for other better fine dining? keke.
12. A JOB with GOOD Pay, GOOD Location, GOOD Flexibility, GOOD working environment - I got all that, except for one thing: A JOB that I enjoy. =) So now Im looking for another!
13. Prince Charming. LOL - This one, must wait... hahaha.
14. Slimming Centre Treats (Jean Yip be good) - I think not realistic, so... I will look into exercising. wahaha.
15. Semi-formal Long Blazor - MUST HAVE BUT DON'T HAVE YET.
16. Whole M.A.C makeup series plus makeup box - Eh, I manage to get other stuffs but much cheaper yet good as well? keke.
17. An Oversea trip to Korea! - OOOOOOOOO IF I CAN!
18. SURPRISES (like doing things that can really surprise me and touch me to tears. ha.) - Nobody has yet done so. hmm. haa..
19. Spiritual Breakthrough! (Only God can answer this!) - Thank You, Father. =)
20. Friends Forever =) - Thanks buddies, you guys are still there!

And here comes the 2010 Wishlist! (May sound more like To-Do List. ha)

1. PSPT Unison: Support, Love, Go the Extra Mile.
2. A Desirable Job: On top of a job with good pay, good location, good environment, I want a job that I enjoy doing.
3. A Spiritual Buddy.
4. Deep and Spiritual Friendships. Mended friendships that I loses along the way. My friend, Joella? My friend, Lennon? My friend, Edmund? My friend, Jason.. Randall.. Jasmine.. Shawn.
5. Family Salvation
6. Macbook Pro - As usual (I won't quit till I get mine!)
7. Wisdom and Character Maturity
8. Further Studies - Event Management
9. Clear Study Loan (CPF and cash loans)
10. New set of Office wears for my Wardrobe (Gear up for the new start!)
11. Prince Charming - Okay, Still waiting. LOL.
12. Surprises!
13. Leadership Development (Speech, Relations, Credibility)
14. Polydins Ministry Growth - Volunteers that serve out of a heart for God!
15. Sheep's growth =)
16. Experiencing Nature, Maybe an oversea trip, with people that appreciate it with me.
17. Sabbath
18. New Hairstyle? Again? Lol.
19. Slim Down lar.
20. Everything above to come to a past!

2010-05-15T04:55:00.002+08:00

Been quite a while since I post.
Things had been really hectic.
The last time I blog was probably somewhere near SEED2010.
Many things took place ever since then.
I learnt many things, humbled by many things, experience many things.

Challenged to my limits like never before.
I took on the role to lead PSPT, ain't an easy task.
Faces many setbacks, my inadequacies.
With ongoing easter, post-easter, conference, May and June ESS,
never really had a break.

I thank God he never fail to sustain me with spiritual support.
My shepherd who gives me good advices.
The new DMM who provides strong and biblical friendships.
My old cliches who brings joy and laughter.
These people, God use them to lift me up.

On top of all these, with the stress coming from my work.
It's indeed unbearable.
Considering to continue and expand myself to serve more,
I can't imagine as yet.
Definitely not about whether am I capable,
because Im not living on my own strength even now.

Need more of his strengthening in order to continue without burning out.
Need to grow in my character, spiritual statue and my attitude.
I need a good rest.
A good get-away.

Anyone? =)

At the end of the day, I will still say I have no regrets in following Jesus.
I will do you proud.

2010-03-23T19:52:00.002+08:00

I may still be unsure.
Uncertain of what's ahead.
It's fine if it's only me.
But God there's a flock of innocent sheeps following me.
Need guidance.
I heard you last night.
Your word overwhelms me.
My hands can't stop writing.
Your plans and insights that pours over me.
Yet again I panick.
I doubted.
I question myself of whether did God really speaks?
Eve doubted.
The devil asked: Are you sure God told you not to eat the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden?
She knew the answer.
But yet she was deceived and followed the wrong track.
Yes God I shall not be fool.
Be confident.
Stride ahead.
You will lead me and guide me whereever I go.
You will prosper me.
For you've called me.

2010-03-04T00:43:00.002+08:00

God's Vision.

I will like to testify to something powerful that God has done in my life, and will continue to make a difference in my everyday walk with the spirit.

In about a year and a half ago, I was called from my pastoral leadership role in SP Unit, to pioneer the polydins programming team together with a few other amateurs. We were unfamiliar with our roles, the only thing that we had is a calling and a heart that wants to obey God.

With totally no ministry background or exposure to programming, I am even unsure of what I want to contribute to the team, and what I can give. I take up the option to lead Teamhope in Polydins service, and sooner I venture into pioneering an image team. When I was prompted for any vision or goal in PSPT, I shared briefly to my leader that I have a blur vision in my heart towards event programming, but am unsure of how I am going to explore in this area. I simply focus on doing what God intends to do in these ministries that He have called me to lead.

The one whole year of moulding and training was a difficult phase for me, but I thank God for the breaking down of pride and bitterness, correction of wrong mindsets as well as injecting a Godly vision and heart for His church. I gradually grow in my purpose and direction, things became different. I experience breakthrough in my emotions, growth in my love for people and victories in where ever I go. And the most amazing thing is, I discover God's plan for me and how he shaped my path and guide me towards His vision for my life.

Placing me in teamhope builds my connection and relationship with people, I learnt the orientation of floor management and the basic structure of physical support for programming. Image exposes me to all the backstage experiences that helps me to learn from multiple ministries that are involve in the preparation of events. When I start to piece the bits and pieces that God brought me through, I can't help but to be amazed by how well He knows me, and plan in detail for my well-being. God is indeed good.

Right now, God has direct me to greater opportunities to explore event programming. The regular role as a stage manager for polydins service, as well as the chance of stage managing for Easter Service 2010. I am glad as well I can be involve to lead special services coming up in the year 2010, and to participate actively as an event programmer for polydins service. Yet the most important thing of all that drives the passion is a Godly vision. Cling on to God's promise and persevere through His preparation stage, and surely His vision for you will come to a pass.

Much more breakthroughs and moulding of my character to be done, much more of God's work to come in my life. Thank Him!

2010-01-11T17:35:00.002+08:00

He is in my veins.

I can feel Him.

The joy of the Lord,

within my soul.

I dance with my feets,

I sing with my lips.

I may be like a fool,

but my heart goes out for my God.

He is good.

He is all-powerful.

The air I breathe He provide,

the land I stepped He made.

My creator.

My provider.

He may be great,

but He is close to the poor.

No status difference,

He loves all.

God is good.

Amen?

2010-01-06T10:25:00.002+08:00

Dear Father,

My body is lethargic, the energy consumption is overwhelming, I am tired. I can feel the strain in my eyes, like if the blood vessels are struggling to break free. Blood shot eyes, that's the way to term it. The muscles are aching, it's hard to explain the tension on my back, but one thing I know, it's distracting my focus for work. At such a point of time, I will long for a good rest on my bed, relieve my muscles to help them to relax? Close my eyes and have a good few hours of sleep, that will pacify those veins that's showing up to protest.

Circumstances do not allow so, usually.

Furthermore I know, this is only the beginning! The toil of the year is starting to creep into my life. I can taste the hardship, just by a little, and I know it's going to be a challenging year. The brainstorming for camp is exhausting, being inexperience with the new role some more, I would have break down probably, if it hadn't, been you. So many times I thought in my mind, how am I going to be able to do all these? Plus, there's still much other roles coming up, this camp involvement, is just one tiny-miny part of it. I feel so weak, in fact, I am weak. My limitations is like multiplying, or rather revealing themselves bit by bit along the way when I am expose to more tasks and responsibilities. I ask again! How am I going to do this?

Got to admit, fear do grip me. I am afraid I am unable to handle all these that had been assigned to me. Im afraid one day I might just give it up cause it's really so hard.

I remember, that you said nothing is impossible with You. Yes indeed all these can be overcome together with You, because you made me an overcomer. My fear, most likely comes from my insecurity in You. Where's my faith? That faith where I believe you can move mountains and walk on water.

I need to pray. I need that assurance in your word. I need Your still, small voice that brings comfort and direction to my life. God strengthen my heart, my soul, my body. Help me to grow in my faith in You. There isn't a need to pray for more power for your power is as high as the mountains and as deep as the oceans. What I need, is that faith to believe in that power you possess. Help me to build my security in you with your promises, your word of truth that brings life. Help me to experience your spirit and give me a listening ear for your voice. I need you. I can't do my life without you.

You are my strength

Strength like no other

Reaches to me

You are my hope

Hope like no other

Reaches to me

In the fullness of your grace

In the power of your name

You are my God

Unfailing love

Stronger than mountains

Deeper than Oceans

Reaches to me

Your Love Oh Lord

Reaches to the heavens

Your Faithfulness

Reaches to the skies

I don't want to be distant from You. I want to be close to You. I want to do my life with You. I don't want to depart again from Your word and experience life that's without You again, which soon I will be in despair as life without You would have been difficult, and meaningless. I don't want to be neglecting You in my life, thinking that I can make it through in that period but soon after I realize there's nothing I can do without You. It's different. Life with You is just different. I want to feel You constantly everywhere I go. I know you're there, but it's me, I got to learn to live together with your spirit, to be aware of your presence, to be in joy that the Lord is with me at all times.

My love for you is incomparable to your love for me. Who am I? What have I ever done to deserve what you're doing for me?

I could only say, God you are good.

Be patient with me, I need your grace and mercy.

Amen.

2009-12-30T12:11:00.002+08:00

2010.

So here I arrive, to the end of the year 2009.

And here I am to receive, 2010.

Something to look into for the coming year..

Not success.

Not increments.

Not raising of status and role.

It's character.

It's when nobody is looking, who I really am in the eyes of God.

It's when nobody affirm, nobody notice.

But integrity, person-hood, personality.

Something that pleases not human, but God.

It's the little things that I do.

The allowance of the spirit to lead my decision making.

The strength in overcoming temptations and rash decisions.

Being rational and calm.

It's discipline.

My spendings, my finance management.

Stewardship.

It's self-awareness.

Admitting my wrongs when I am in the wrong.

It's willingness to humble down for correction, rebuking.

It's being more aware of why I do what I do.

The year of self-preparation. Growth of the inner being.

2009-12-16T12:50:00.002+08:00

Isaiah 40:31

But they that wait upon the Lord, shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

For 2 weeks,

in and out I went into the hospital.

At certain point of time,

I did felt like it's the end of time.

But well,

seems like God is telling me, it's yet to be.

For those who are not aware,

I am born with epilepsy,

an incurable illness related to my nerve system.

I could only depend on daily medicine to control the seizures,

and at any time of my relapse,

upon carelessness, I am just pass away.

It caught me unaware,

and this time round, thank God I was discovered.

The repeated seizures caused damage to my brain,

I awake with lost memories,

migraine, high blood pressure, dizziness, nauseousness.

The encounter was frightening,

it seizes my throat, choking my faith in Him.

More came along.

The responsibilities in church ministries come tumbling down.

Problems arise, and they choses to come at this point of time.

More issues to coordinate and manage.

I was nearly out of breath.

For a person who already have difficulties remembering names,

it became harder to continue bearing the burden.

Just when things become so frustrating,

and my Migraine creeps upon my head causing more pain,

in a song, God speaks "wait on me"

So I waited, and then it sang:

"I close my eyes, and I see your face.. Oh won't you give me strength, to make it through somehow."

And there I know it is God telling me. Ask Him. Ask Him for His strength.

It is Him. Ask Him for His strength to make it through!

And thereafter, He confirm His message with a verse for me as above.

So I did say, when I am weak, then I am strong.

He helped me to understand this a little more. =)

2009-12-11T16:49:00.002+08:00

There were times I lost my footing,

I trip and fall, and there I turn myself up.

With the wide blue sky staring back into my eyes,

I curse and swear at times for which why?

I stood up and swept the dust from my feet,

never did I saw the edge of that porcelain beneath Your hands.

Bleeding weren't you, at the heart of Your palm,

but the pain pierces through, at the bottom of Your heart.

My failures had failed, Your unfailing love,

yet never once had You, failed to return.

My deeds are overwhelming, I can't catch my breath

But Yours overflowing, forgive me not?

You lead me not, to the joyous ground

But there You placed me in my painful truth

You saw the light beyond the tunnel,

You forgave those times, Why me, my Lord?

It is You the One, that I will depend

For who shall I seek, but You who loves...

In other eyes, there's nothing that cure

But through Your grace and power, You make me possible

My change I credit, only to You

Even now I'm a sinful man, because of You could I stand

Not to dwell in my wilderness, no more

Guide me with Your spirit, lead me to Your light

Here I uphold to You:

My Family

My Ministry

My Caregroup

My Close Friends

My Career

My Colleagues

My Character

2009-12-03T10:07:00.002+08:00

I can be in fear,

but I know that I shall not be afraid.

Life is fragile

Human hearts are weak

People stumble and fall

They live and pass away

What's that install for me, my Lord?

Nothing am I,

only to please you.

Learning. And much to discover.

And I know you're at work

Reconciliation, only possible by You.

They may not understand,

but what that matters is You and I.

And in my heart I do somewhat forget at times,

but yet I recall and repent,

You are the One.

2009-11-26T16:11:00.004+08:00

Repent sinners,
only then can you have life.

It's mind-blowing.
Hard to swallow.
Yet truth will set me free,
even if it the facts are heart-piercing.

Accept the feedbacks.
Change.
It doesn't matter how others think about you.
It is not about how embarrassing and upsetting the matter is about.
The truth is,
if you're in the wrong and there's a need to change,
you make the effort to change and grow out from it.

Stop putting the blame on others,
stop self-pitying and asking why.
It may not be an angel's act,
but it in fact is a conscious act of irresponsbility:
Bear your faults, do not shrink the burden.

More effort.
More self-awareness.
More transformation.

To glorify God, I got to start with the little things of my life.
To do greater things, the basics got to be fix.
Stop ignoring these areas, because in your heart, you know them well.
You can never enter the gates of heaven,
unless you've walked through the narrow gate.

Learn from mistakes,
change for the better.
Win their respect once again,
build the relationship that had been forego.
Regretting what you've done in the past is not enough,
you got to learn to do something good now and thereafter.
It will be recovered,
now it's a test of faith and discipline.
Humble yourself to taste the hardship,
accept it and move on.

Yet another test,
to praise Him.

2009-11-26T10:13:00.002+08:00

Broken.

A broken and conflicted heart,

O God, thou shall not despise.

When I face these adversities,

I look upon my weaknesses and found myself in shame.

I struggle and fall apart against these judgement,

I cannot contain.

The pain pierces through my heart.

How in a world would someone so close, yet someone so far?

I don't understand.

O God, lead my questions to peace.

Why.

2009-11-10T10:46:00.002+08:00

Unexpected.

Looking at the path that I've crossed many,
the road that I've walked plenty,
it's definitely an unexpected phase of my life,
definitely not one that I expect 4 years ago.

Walking with God, is enriching.
And for the past 4 years and a little?
I've experience life far beyond what I had, before.
The journey with Him is breath-taking,
you have to taste it with your own bud to know what I mean.

The decision to come to know God,
is definitely worthwhile and the best so far.
Reflecting upon my past, my present, and my future,
I cannot imagine my life, without Him.
Perhaps you may say I am not independent,
but I got to admit I can't live without God.

Imagine this -

Without God, I will lose the purpose in working:
Working becomes a chore.
Working becomes a mundane thing.
I may just work for the sake of money and status.
At the end of the day I will only question why?

Without God, I will have indulge in sinful life habits:
I might have pursue relationships that do not last.
I will never understand what's love all about,
maybe I'll develop my own philosophy of love.

Without God, I could never see the value of my family:
The one whom He chose to put me in her womb,
how precious is she who is pregnant with me for 10 months.
The conflicts, the quarrels and the disagreements,
I would have gave up and soaked in bitterness,
if it hadn't been God who melted my heart.

Without God, I could never find myself:
Who I really am, what's my identity?
I may continue to fight so hard to gain popularity.
I would continue to strive so hard for the sake of nothing.
I would have ignore the fact that I am the daughter of God.

God put me in this unexpected journey,
one that I anticipate.
It's not a bed of roses, definitely.
But surely it is one that is rewarding. Have you embarked on yours? =)

God is Good.

2009-10-27T15:03:00.002+08:00

USHER MEGA CAMP 2009

So you've heard of the Mega from Macdonalds?

I bet you didn't know, the Mega of Ushers came in all the way before Mac brought in theirs.

And once again! We are launching our new Mega..

Even more Mega than ever, the Usher Mega CAMP!

Woohoo~

I am so glad that people are excited for the camp,

and I believe that God is gonna rock our camp on 31st October!

It just so happens that it's on halloween, we didn't plan it to be in the first place. Ha.

It's gonna be exciting.

Ushers gonna have a taste of what's the real camping is all about...

We're staying in tents!

Hey hey, it's not that we don't have the money to stay in chalets..

I hope you do know that renting tents ain't any cheaper than bungalows huh!

Furthermore, we're getting 8 6-men tents in total,

with battery lamps and huge mats to watch the stars in the sky...

BBQ you name it all,

we're having steaks and bacon with golden needle mushrooms. (The highlights!)

And morning devotion in our teams...

Won't that be great? Coming together to pray and seek the Lord?

Not forgetting Praise and worship, BY THE BEACH!

It's going to be a great time exalting God in the utmost nature of Singapore.

(I AM SO EXCITED, I AM SERIOUS. hahaha.)

We're having creative learning together yea?

Learning values of Ushers via a Mega game that's gonna involve us traveling from the east to town area! Running around, overcoming challenging stations, won't that be great!

Appreciation Night in the evening after buffet dinner.

Great time to appreciate each other =)

In good mood now.

2009-10-26T16:08:00.002+08:00

All the way from Jurong East, Jorris Ng scored another 3-pointer!

And home-run woohoo~

Some crazy things happen yesterday,

and there were Abigail, Liping, Joycelyn, Jess, Joleen, Bingquan, Daniel among the few.

We proceeded to the basketball court to burn some fats,

after our sinful steamboat at Jobb's place.

A madness MBA wanna-bes team compete against each other.

And some highlights were:

1. Ball rolled into the BIG drain with Bingquan rescuing it. His heroic jump off the drain bars were awesome and "shuai dai le". The rest were still trying to look for a torchlight.

2. Daniel performed his butt dance halfway in the match to feature his calm style of playing basketball. Unfortunately, age got on his way and he nearly sprained his butt. Limping on the way home after the match at 9.30pm.

3. Liping the silent killer performed her splendid shot at a crucial point of the match. With much oppression against her way, she manage to got the ball into the net.

4. Meihwa was defeated by Jorris's animated defense and got her ball snatched off! LOL.

5. Joleen performed her accurate shooting skills during the match countless time and impress many. She was the black horse of the day.

6. Jess displayed her graceful dance steps even in the midst of playing basketball. Trust me, there was not a time where time slowed down, but when the ball came near her, her graceful steps automatically slow down the game like if you're slowing down a basketball video.

7. Bingquan fake his way throughout the game by performing splendid layouts when he keep saying he can't. The bluffer.

8. Not forgetting our star player of the day, Joycelyn Sim, as usual, amazed us with her graceful and power shots throughout the entire game. She manage to hit the board from half the court. All thanks to the prata training.

I love PSPT. lol.

2009-10-24T11:16:00.002+08:00

A life of Choice Versus A life of Calling.

The crux of the topic lies in:

Whether at the end of the day, your life be nailed to regrets, or fulfillment.

You need to know where you're heading.

You need to be clear of who's your leader.

There's a freedom in life, yes there is.

But a small mistake can results in a lifetime of agony.

The worst thing that can happen, is when you don't even know.

Do you choose the life you want?

Or do you live a life that's suppose to be the way it is to be?

Will it be at the end of the day,

laughters, joy, smiles, if you get what you want all the time?

Or will it be at the end of the day,

you've taste the bitterness of the life that you are called to lead,

but you too taste the sweetness that's really meant to be.

Lead a life for Jesus.

2009-10-23T16:53:00.002+08:00

Pride may lift you high
Yet it drains your life

Confidence

It's not only about leading your life with your head lifted high
Putting others down does not make you exceptional
It only magnifies your insecurity and lack of confidence

It's because you're worried that others are better than you
Therefore, all the more you put in much effort to suck their confidence in themselves

A confident man walks in humility
His speech is encouraging, affirming, inspiring
The presence of his confidence is alluring
You can't stop yourself from fixing your eyes on him
He is attractive, beyond physical measure

Confidence is meant to lift others up together with you
and not to make others feel that they are insignficant, small, pathetic
God created confidence in man to support one another
And not, for the sake of competition that suffocates the soul of the being.

It is a depressing confession that in this secular world
Many do not understand

Let's be confident stewards of the Lord
To be filled by the confidence in Christ Jesus alone.

2009-10-22T11:27:00.002+08:00

Growing up as a 20 something.

Things are becoming different.

Wider perspectives.
More responsibilities.
Greater burden.
Perhaps more opportunities.

I can be "crazy" at times,
mixing around with the young
Yes I am young still,
but things becoming, different.

You will know it in your heart.
Gradually
You grow with time,
you age in your experiences.
It's a process of maturity.

The way reactions burst out from me,
are no longer the "over-the-top" expressions and rash decisions.
Sometimes in the past things just came bubbling out,
Im guessing some of you know what that means.
Perhaps because after being through more things in life,
you don't react in that way anymore.
You tend to stay calm? Nothing can't be solve. Chill.

Growth is so amazing.
and Growing is even more amazing.
The way our physical body age with time is marvellous,
somehow can't understand within years how can all these changes happen.
And the way the mind and soul age is powerful.
But the difference is,

Physical body age to frail your soul.
Your Mental body age to strengthen your body.

How amazing,
is God's creation. =)

2009-10-18T14:13:00.002+08:00

周年记念日：理工学院崇拜聚会管理小组第一周年

许多感叹，

不知该从何说起。

我很庆幸能与这个特别的小组结下密切的关系，

从而当中我学到了许多，许多。

我们拥有过悲伤，快乐，

疯狂的笑声时常围绕在我们当中。

紧要关头，

大家皱着眉头，

面壁思过？

开个玩笑。。。

我感谢主赐给我美好的机会，

在这个环境里成长。

让我看见了许多我以前看不到的人生道理。

一年很快就过去了，

还不知我们还有多少时间能奉献于主在这方面。

也不知以后还有机会吗？

我现在唯一的希望就是超越自己的能量，

做好自己的本份，

呈献本深为一个荣耀于主的仆人。

请赐与我们力量,

我们需要你的领导。

感谢主。

2009-10-16T16:36:00.003+08:00

Fast.

Pacing. Panting. Pacing. Panting.

Brushes through.
Can't see a thing.

Freaks me.

Scary.

Yet beautiful.

Stop. Look. Stop. Look.

Something's hidden.

Bubbles.

Picture.

Meaning.

Expressions.

Pause and think.

Beneath the random abstraction

There's a blossom soul.

2009-10-15T17:38:00.002+08:00

As you have spoken in Genesis 9:13,
I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth.

Even when the storms are intimidating,
the wind got into my eyes,
the rain caused my blurry vision.
I may be shivering,
all alone perhaps with the ice-cold raindrops falling on my head.
Perhaps I am so afraid,
uncertain whether can I reach the other end,
without giving up on this tough journey.
The cars at the side that's going the opposite direction,
and I do sometimes have a thought of jumping into one,
and just get back to where I came from,
at least I will know where I'm going, than aimlessly heading for something,
that I have not seen, in this cold wide storm.
The thunder scream into my ears,
sometimes I do get a shocked,
I do feel like crying.

It's not easy.

But yet when I recall,
that I'm heading for your rainbow after the storm.

I know, it's worth it.
Your covenant, I pursue. This race, I'm gonna run.

2009-10-13T14:01:00.002+08:00

Live to Please God Alone.

So many things
So many thoughts
Circumstances just won't budge
Keep coming, like a rushing wind
It's blowing sand into my eyes
Irritating, painful

It is a time that you must learn to live
and please God alone

You, only You I will serve.

2009-10-12T15:26:00.002+08:00

It is really a time that I don't even know how to put into words anymore, God I know that this is something that I must learn and grow and overcome. Challenges, so many of them, coming in my way, like they are about to attack me. I am in great fear, am uncertain of what to do, am so stretched with my own limitations, am so desperate. God I need you. God I really need you. This is a time that God I know I can't do it without you. Many things happening, I need to focus on you.. I need to depend on you.. I need to draw strength from you.. I need to ask for your assistance in my life.. I need you to build me up!

God, as I faces all these things in my life, I ask of you to bring me through.
Please bless the circumstances in my life. Help me to be able to learn from what you are putting me through, that every single incident surely have something install for me to apply in the future. Please guide me oh Lord, I am young and ignorant, I need your wisdom and knowledge in order to know what's right and what's wrong, take me to the correct path and not let me wander off in my own decisions. Forgive me if I disobey or have ignore your directions. God I need you to be my leader, to lead me into your promise land and not let me continue to roam around the desert.

Father I need your presence, I need your spirit. I need you to bring comfort to my insignificant soul. I am trembling in fear, let your spirit calm me, let your spirit bring stillness in my heart. God I want to reside in you, God I want to stay within your embrace. Not let me get too far away from your covering, but let me remain in you forever as it can be.

2009-10-11T11:04:00.002+08:00

And the care group turned out to be awesome.

Well at least, I knew that it weren't because of me, it was God.
And I am glad that God filled us with His spirit, in our care group.

Facing a challenge, and a privilege.

I am both honored and in fear.

There is a winding road that I am about to take,

from far I see the storms and obstacles that's coming against me.

I am in fear, that's indeed.

I am worrying, for I am not sure do I have the innate stability to hold on.

Will I survive?

Will I honor the Lord?

Will I pass the test?

Will I reach the promise Land?

Will I...

I made a prayer in my heart during altar call..

I told God, I want to be use by you.

Let me be your vessel.

I know, who am I? But God if I found favor in your eyes, use me.

I am willing.

I am willing, though I am uncertain of will I be able to overcome.

The only thing that I know, is that you're the overcomer of all things.

Let me stay close with you and not depart from your word,

surely you will pull me through.

I am barely on the edge,

but you are barely off the edge.

You are my God.

2009-10-09T16:04:00.002+08:00

Counting down to Caregroup: 09-10-09

It's a heavy afternoon, and evening to come.
Was informed that my leader will not be at caregroup this evening,
and so I was given the opportunity to lead and plan.
There were mix feelings within me.

1. I am very excited that I can plan for my own caregroup!
2. I am just so uncertain about what's going to happen next.

And I recalled what I read yesterday:
The biggest obstacle of all in serving God is, FEAR.

It's not your limitations, it's not the circumstances, it's FEAR.
Often because we are fearful of trying things out,
we misses the opportunity to perform to our very best.
It is really not about whether do we have what it takes,
but it is about stepping out of our comfort zone and not let FEAR get a grip on us.

I realise that it is not about whether I am capable a not.
I have plan caregroups before isn't it?
I have shared to a group of more than 50 people of a workshop hadn't I?
It's not my first time sharing about giving to people am I correct?
Then why am I hesitating?

I started to think through and realise Im on the wrong track.
I'm afraid that I cannot perform as well as my other caregroup members.
I had in mind all along, they are great leaders! Who am I?
I am afraid I will just mess things up and be lost of what to do.
And if that happens, what am I gonna do?

haha. And I think I'm laughing at myself now.
The thing is: I hadn't even try. I hadn't even attempt to do it with God.
I hadn't. All because of FEAR!

I jump out in faith and planned my sharing:
DONE IN 15 MINUTES. Woohoo~
It's not about the planning part, it's about the walking on water!
It will not be about me, it's going to be about Jesus.

I pray the sharing be fruitful and great.
God, open our hearts and stir in our minds.

LOVE U!

2009-10-06T11:46:00.002+08:00

Post-Mission Trip: Changed for something BIGGER.

God is faithful and good.

And indeed, in just 5 small days,

God had changed the hearts of 5, those who were there will praise the name of God.

He touches on different aspects of our lives,

He searches the hearts who desire Him.

He break the wounds of those who are hurting,

to heal the core issue of the superficial pain.

It was an enlightement,

It was a great time of enjoying the presence of God.

Indeed God had reveal many lessons for us to learn,

and He have spoken to each individuals in such great details.

Praise Him.

With this trip, it serves as a beginning.

That I am changed, for something Bigger.

God is going to do something great,

and let my heart continue to be broken for His purpose.

Guide me oh Lord,

I need your strengthening and direction.

God is good.

2009-09-29T09:35:00.002+08:00

11th Day of Fasting: Mission trip to Serdang
The day to which I realise: In 1 more day something BIG is happening.

Time flies really fast.
In just 1 more day? I will be off flying over to Serdang.
I am having this, pre-mission trip frets.
Heard of pre-marriage frets?
Those incidents where.. No matter how well the wedding is planned,
the bride will still go crazy and start fretting right before the wedding begins?
I'm sort of experiencing that now.
Just that the difference is,
I'm not getting married. Im going for a mission trip.

This is the part you really knows that your preparation,
is never enough to make a good mission trip.
It's really not about what we've done,
it's about what God is going to do.

Im not so sure what's in store for me,
but I tell you it gets harder not to panick,
when the day draws near!
God, Im still gonna put my faith in you no matter what,
but pleaseeeee help this faint heart of mine,
it's gonna jump out anytime.

And actually,
grandpa met an accident a few days ago.
While the peeps came to my house for some self-cooked dinner,
and fellowship round television watching F1 finals.
I thank God He gave time for my grandpa,
cause I hadn't got the chance to say God loves him.

The souls are wandering all around.
What are you doing?

2009-09-27T13:04:00.003+08:00

9th Day of Fasting: Mission to Serdang
The test of Consistency & Excellence

My Heart beats in the tempo of Praise

For the Lord have done something great

In everything He clears my path

Upon my prayer I trust in Him

For in this trip I sense relief

He stretched my faith to Him alone

I know He's there, and will always be

Complete this walk just You and Me

I may be lost of what to do

But You salvage my mind in Yours

In Your way I put my trust

Even when the road seems tough

I'm holding on, not letting go.

God did a great work in yesterday's Mission Meeting,

and I believe He is moving in the hearts of the goers.

I really thank God for the moving of His spirit,

and I thank God for His leadership in me.

It's just, so many things happen but He never fails to peace my heart.

You will know that He's trustworthy when everything starts falling.

Trusting in Him is the best thing to do no matter what.

Cause He's the only one that will not fail you!

I am awestruck.

God?

I think I'm loving you even more.

Thank you.

2009-09-25T13:02:00.003+08:00

7th Day of Fasting: Mission to Serdang
The trip of which God open my eyes to the things unseen.

Mindset.
The way he change my mindset.
This flexibility, this kingdom-mindedness.
It's to be drill into me in the next 10 days.
Im tasting the test.
It's pushing its way, piercing my skin.

Pain.
Like a needle poking through.
And it's not the kind that you kid around with.
Those thick needles.
But they impart something that's positive.
At least I know that.

Im seeing things.
Im seeing the weakness of human beings.
That at times when this nature of human comes in our way,
God salvage it with His character, His guidance, His spirit.
Things work out.
With His spirit.

Im stretched.
Things just won't go according to what we plan.
So, this is where God set Himself in.
The Lord.
So He's just so good at it in making you desperate for Him.
Can I laugh at this?

haha.
He's good. Really good.
Good at telling me: "See? I told you. You can't fathom my thoughts."
And then He'll follow up with something else, more infuriating:
"Now, with nothing on hand, walk on water."

So. I just got to step out of the boat if I want to walk on water.

Still I'm excited for what you're going to do again.
haha.

2009-09-21T12:48:00.002+08:00

Burdened.

My heart is sinking.

There's so much more that needs to be done.

There's so much more that can be done.

There's so much more to come.

When I look upon myself

I see a small being who's limited in my doing.

The limitations:
My strength, my drive, my ability, my knowledge, my scope of influence

You can't say much about it. They are just, so small.

So small.

Who am I that I am called to lead?

Who am I that I can serve in such a great measure?

Who am I that I am used to make a difference?

Who am I that the Lord of all the earth,

would care about anything about me?

I am pampered. I am touched. I am amazed.

Because the more I see how great is he and how small am I,

I am convinced of His unconditional love for a undeserving me.

And all the more I am burdened.

I want to give my best. I want to try my best.

I want to contribute in every measure that I can.

But my faith is so small.

My carnal nature cripples me.

I procrastinate.

I laze around.

I thought about myself.

I want to enjoy life.

What's this burden about?

I cry over my ministries.

It can serve in a bigger way. God, how can I make a difference?

How can I see to it that it can be a blessing in your church?

I am so small. What more can I do?

I need Him. so badly. Badly. Badly.

Ushers.

Makeup artists.

Stage managers.

Floor managers.

Team leaders.

Care group members.

Mission trip team members.

Serdang brothers and sisters.

You put these people in my life for a purpose.

And a reason why you put me in their lives as well.

Use me.

Break me.

NO MORE JORRIS. ONLY YOU.

I don't want to hold back again and again.

I want to see MIRACLES.

I want to see the lame man walk.

I want to see the dead man rise.

I want to see the red sea opens.

Ushers convicted for the holy purpose.

Floor Managers working closely together, and growing strong in the Lord.

Stage Managers leading the service with your spirit.

Makeup Artists inspired by your presence.

Mission trip members stirred to be a global Christian.

Serdang Service moves in quality and in your guidance.

Care group growing in unity and love.

MORE MORE MORE.

Crying out for you.

Break my heart. Let this not be another rash proclamation.

Let this be an eternal conviction.

Forever praising.

BREAKTHROUGH.

Stretched. Rebuked. Changed. Grow.

Only you can do this in me.

And so, I pray.

2009-09-18T11:52:00.003+08:00

My first Conflict @ Work.

Today is the day that God teaches something and challenge me with something at my workplace. I got to admit, Im not really happy now and my heart is sinking. There's some anger here and there, felt unjust, felt not deserving of what Im facing now. Holy Spirit prompting me to cool down, reflect, and learn from what that has happen. Hmm. Well! This must had not been an accident.. but something God planned.

Ever since yesterday late afternoon, I can sense a fire burning between my HR Manager and me. Well, I should have realise that a conflict is about to take place.

And here comes. A blunder took place. The agency gave me some information that's not clear enough regarding VISA Application, and so I pass down information that's not complete. Finally, was reprimanded by her that I did not check properly.

Lesson learnt:

1. Attitude
I was sort of having some attitude towards her cause I don't like the way she handle things. Don't like the way she talk to me. I kind of avoid her and don't want to look at her when I reply her. Though I'm still doing things for her, without fail, but not really with a heart that's willing. Just doing it because Im afraid of losing my job.

Where's my fruit of the spirit? Im not loving her weakness, and Im not having peace in my heart. In the first place, it's totally FINE that she rebuke me for things that I need to improve. Why do I look at it with such anger? I should look at these comments as areas for myself to grow further.

2. Meticulous
I need to be more careful at work and give my 100%. Got to realise, my first week at work was definitely much alert than now.. I should have sense the danger setting in: which is Im becoming more complacent with my work attitude and performance. I got to be more meticulous in my job to perform better! Spirit had been prompting me.. I had not been alert enough to realise and yet continue to allow my focus to get interrupted by other things. I may not be very busy at work, but got to learn to give my best still in whatever I have on hand.

3. Pride
It actually came in and hinder me without me fully knowing it. Or perhaps, I don't want to admit it just now.. But now that I reflect, i was actually being prideful. I wanted to argue that the fault lies in the agency, but not me. Truth, is I play a part in the blunder. I am not careful enough and was just anxious about finishing the task. I kind of don't want to accept her comments of my faulty area and just think that I don't deserve this. Truth is, I should learn from whatever that is commented and figure out why would this happen. She wouldn't scold me if in the first place I don't place a part in this.

cool down.. and listen. There's so much more to learn. =)

2009-09-09T10:13:00.002+08:00

Year-End Goal for 2009:

1. Clear all my Debts (Study loan to be cleared by June 2010)
2. Finish reading 3 Books as of now
3. Bless Hope Serdang Student Team in Service Team Mission Trip (and be bless!)
4. Catch up with my old friends
5. Teamhope - Mega Camp' 09
6. Image - Xmas Combined Service & Special Services (ESSes)
7. Learn stage Managing (from shuzhen)
8. Explore Caregroup Leading
9. Bring a Friend to Church
10. Rise up new Leaders

Handing all these in Jesus's hand.

2009-09-05T01:32:00.002+08:00

How can I stop thanking God who perform miracles again and again in my sight.

It's like,

when there's something you're really glad it took place,

but never expect that it could happen to you?

That kind of experience, I'm just so bless that I don't even know how to describe.

I really still can't figure out why God gave me the chance,

guess that's why they always say: God's mind you can't fathom.

So many times I tried to argue that this is probably a coincidence,

because I just can't find any reasons in any possible way,

that I could deserve this?

Well in the end I sort of understood,

it's not about whether I deserve it or not, because not matter what,

we still fall short of His glory.

It's just, you know, God? When He says you deserve, you will deserve.

Nope, not because of your deeds and your life led in purity,

but simply because He is a great God that loves you beyond your inadequacies.

Today we had our second Ushers' Tutorial.

It was a tough journey proceeding for this class.

Amazingly, God places in my heart a stillness to trust in Him this time round.

When I was informed of the bad attendance and the TP-ians cannot be around,

I was a little discouraged but God told me to be content and cherish the few.

Soon after that I was told Europe room that I've booked was taken up by somebody,

I nearly freak out, but I leave it in His hands and He made a way.

On the day itself my image assistant, Joleen message me she's having sore eyes,

can't turn up for the image workshop for ushers.

God provides, and Evangeline came to my rescue to assist.

When Yen See out of nowhere found her laptop locked and the ushers' clip saved in it,

God bless me with a willing soul who went the extra mile to complete the task.

With so many other things on hand,

my work, my short term mission, my family, my seminars,

God gave me a really supportive floor manager, Suquan, that coordinate the entire class.

It is hard when we climb the steep walls of the mountain.

But when we reaches the tip of the mountain, the reward is magnificent.

I really hope all our new ushers who came were blessed and learn much.

I pray that our current ushers who came were refreshed as well.

Like to take this time to give thanks to a few individuals:

1. Suquan

Thanks for everything. You've been a really great support and I'm very glad to be working with you in building a strong usher ministry of POLYDINS! Let's use our ministry to make a difference, not only in our church, but even to external events! Let our ushers be a salt and light for many! Your initiative and enthuasiasm impresses me. Keep it up and continue to give your 101% even after you cut all your hair off! Happy recruit-ing!

2. Emily

Hey my lady.. Thanks for your willingness to serve your best in the ministry. I guess this is your first time giving a teaching in Ushers' ministry? Great attempt! I really appreciate the effort you've put in to prepare the teaching. Just want to encourage you, that God will use you in a great extend, both in pastoral and ministry! Let God challenge you to great heights, and allow your faith be put in Him to see it through. Love you!

3. Ruth

My chubby cutie! Ha. Alright you're not really chubby, I just find those peachy cheeks really lovely. Hey! Although the briefing for the games is really short, but I can see that you've improved! I'm seeing a ruth that's more confident, keep it up! You know what, I believe that with a heart that desires to honor God, God will definitely open doors for you. Put your trust in Him and depend upon Him for growth! Set higher goals! Gambate!

4. Yen See

Hey gal.. What can I say? I really want to thank God for the fact that you're really willing and sacrificial for the ministry. On top of your busy work schedule, you still make time for the clip and lyrics. Let's continue to improve! Although P&W was cancelled, I do see that you have plenty of room to improve and excel. Don't give up, and be consistent in your commitment to God as an usher alright? Walk right with God.

And thank God for all who came! Love all!

2009-09-03T17:13:00.002+08:00

Simple Joy.

The thought of that I am in heaven,

cleaning the wings of my father's angels,

how sweet would it be.

A simple life just me and Him,

of course not forgetting my bros 'n' sis,

how great would that be.

Often I imagine and dream about life after this,

a life that is free from all that's holding me back.

Wouldn't that be amazing?

How I long to return to His side,

while His hands caress the sides of my hair,

comforting me when I'm afraid of the cold.

But yet I know somehow He says,

a simple joy I put in you,

you can enjoy if you desire.

Listening.

2009-08-31T00:29:00.002+08:00

Like a little blue bird chirping on the browny tree trunk,

indulging in it's little own world,

laughing off loudly like nobody's business.

Im that blue bird now,

kind of happy, in a stupid but glad way.

I'm like getting a little booby-poopy,

there may not be such a word in the dictionary,

but let me just explain the meaning..

Hmm. It means I'm just so glad with my life, like a little child!

Nono.

It's not being ignorant.

It's not that I'm living in a princess world and everything is so lovely.

It's not that everyone loves me like some queen in the air.

It's not about having my life perfect.

It's just this sweetness that God left in me,

after since we exchange this mutual promise of love to each other.

Attended weddings, or heard of the love stories of those chirpy couples?

It's sort of similar, just that this is a divine love between God and me.

It can happen between God and you too!

It just turn your whole world around.

It makes everything different.

You can just keep smiling non-stop on the bus for 1 hour journey,

looking up into the clouds in the sky and the trees everywhere.

I really did that, and I'm doing it still.

haa.

God, me, love, glad.

2009-08-25T09:46:00.003+08:00

The GC and Combined Service have come to an end.

I am glad I endured the test and held on till the very end. God had indeed planted plentiful of testings in this phase of my life.. My patience, my joy, my purpose, my dependence, my strength. All these I give thanks.

God had been really good to me. Moulded me, strengthen me, encouraged me, helped me.
Even though the going gets tougher,
I am assured that He will not depart from me,
but will stay even closer with me,
to make sure that he's there to hold me up when I fall.

At a thought of this is how much God loves me,
my heart is sweeten and I am so pampered.

At times I am really so disappointed with myself.
For times and times again, I fail God.
And times and times again, He forgives,
never fails to love me unconditionally.
God is really good.

Recently, God places an unmountable burden in my heart.
A burden for the church, for the people.
I do not know where does this burden leads me to,
but I believe God has His purpose,
and I shall patiently wait for His calling.
And there and then I claim the caregroup,
the caregroup he spoke of to me in service.
God?
Use me. I am your broken vessel.

2009-08-20T01:21:00.002+08:00

I have to say that I am now undergoing a metamorphosis by God, Jesus, Himself.

What a blessing, but what a stretch.

It's like the illustration Ps Simon have brought up in the teaching in GC today,

of how a beautiful and expensive diamond comes about from a black carbon raw material.

It had to undergo hundreds and thousands of years in pressure beneath the earth,

and when it is extracted out from the ground,

the diamond extravation team brings it for moulding, shaping, polishing.

I am very exhausted. Very stretched in a way.

In fact, I can literally experience the physical dryness in my body,

after having late nights and early mornings for almost 3 weeks, not a day to be missed.

With my first time leading Image team,

and my first time hosting international delegates from 2 different countries,

I am indeed thrown into the sea and asked to build a boat from where I am.

I broke down in tears of surrender to God in the evening,

and it was assuring to my heart, it brought comfort.

I am so limited and I know my inadequacies, but God still use me.

Ps Simon was saying: Tell yourself, I am a diamond.

And indeed I was thinking, I may be a black carbon right now, ugly and useless.

But you will make me useful and valuable with your metamorphosis for my life.

And something strike my heart today..

Will you still serve when nobody appreciate what you are doing?

Will you still serve when you're giving so much but yet there's no reward?

In my surrendering, I prayed hard against this area. And I can sense the devil's trap within a fine line next to my conviction. Indeed, it is easy to give in, easy to compromise, easy to take the easier way out. But I am sure of one thing, God will not be pleased.

In my prayer I ask of him, build this message strongly into my head, let it not be forgotten, lest' I neglect my purpose and direction. Help me to remember my servanthood, help me to remember why did I serve in the first place. Not for appreciation, not for reward, but for your church.

I need strengthening. I need anointing. I need empowering. I need the word of God. I need Jesus.

2009-08-16T18:52:00.001+08:00

Squashed, trampled, stretched, splitted, moulded, shaped.

You make me your strawberry milkshake.

2009-08-15T01:32:00.003+08:00

Stations of Life.

We take trains of different experience,

like deciding upon the paths in our life, we picked the driving vessels.

We got on board, and gets to have an eye opener on this vessel we've chose,

nevertheless, it does not seems to be always what we expect.

Life can become like an activity we do everyday,

waiting for the train to arrive every morning to bring us to our desired location.

It's ironic sometimes we gets impatient over a moment of life,

just like how we start tapping our heels when the station states 3 mins more.

We get sick and filled with lots to complaints regarding this life we're on?

Maybe because we get squeezed into the middle of the train by the crowd...

Or perhaps somebody step on your toe, or places his smelly arm pit over your forehead.

Who to account for the blaming? Probably the one who chose that vessel in the first place.

But at times, life can become a passing journey of beautiful stops,

always enough to capture your attention, and gone too soon.

You get a seat right next to that wide window revealing the bright blue sky,

sometimes it's sweet to get inspired by the scenery the train passed by.

It's the same journey, yet taking some time to focus on what's there,

might just change the entire experience.

Interesting. I hope it's not just a SMRT thing, I'm making a train to life analogy.

Im on board.

And Im ready to anticipate what kind of scenery God is going to bring in my every stop.

Though at times I get frustrated with the smell in that train,

and often I am irritated by that guy next to me who keep stepping on my toe..

And of course always complaining of the reason why all seats are always taken when I'm wearing heels..

I still can't wait.

I know something is going to happen.

IN MY TRAIN.

Not yet regretting, and never will I, I believe. =)

Im on the earth-heaven line! Not the Circle Line!

2009-08-10T01:51:00.002+08:00

Maybe some of you thought I've crucified my blog,

but the fact is I was fasting from bloggin. Ha.

Now have returned!

Wow~ Many things I want to share with all of you.. It had been a refreshing journey I walked with God in the past 1 month or so, so much to share that Im not so sure how am I going to start. Maybe I'll just start this off by saying, God is Good.

The past weeks as I embark into a spiritual battle field where I pray and fast for a spiritual breakthrough, God really answer. It was a divine encounter in my life and I've never felt so close and so near to God for a long time. It was a spiritual revival, a total enlightenment and realisation. God have never been this real to me in my life, and I thank God He loves me this much to do all these for me. I am really awe by His love for me, speechless in a way I will say.

I begin to wonder at times, why is God so good to me! I guess the only reason I can find is, God is a loving God, isn't it? Ha. We all know that God is a loving God, but to what extend? When we learn to open up our eyes to see, our senses to feel, our ears to listen, our heart to be touched, we will begin to experience the deep measure of God's love, profound and inifinite. I was amazed by how much he actually loves me, and I am very humbled by Him because I know clearly now, all the little things He is always doing for me, always being there, always ready to embrace me. It's really not about me, but Him. He have shown me a great deal, and I got to say, I have more reasons now to praise and worship Him! God is indeed an awesome God.

I had been shower with plenty of blessings recently, and I got to share this, God is the one who owns all the credits. All these while, I am very convicted in my heart that God is the master scheduler for all these things happening. It is Him who have been blessing me, and I know now more clearly than ever, when I follow and run after Him, He will not shortgive me. As the verse says, seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all will be given to you as well. I submit myself to His authority, learning to focus on Him than on my own strength and abilities, God bless. I got a wonderful job, with a pay that I never expected, with colleagues that are wonderful, many opportunities and exposure, potential training provided, great benefits. Who can it be but God? Definitely not me myself who have earned this, cause this is a divine opportunity, I know it.

Coping with ministry drive is really not easy, furthermore, I have to cope with leading 2 different ministry. Praise God He blessed me with great and supportive leaders in usher ministry, who led well and the ushers are receptive as well in giving their best for the ministry. Image was really barely struggling at the borders, but God assist and make the whole thing turns out well in the end. Thank God for all the people in Image team, despite how busy they are. On top of this, Im given the opportunity to lead the entire Image for GC and Combined Service! I am very blessed to have this honor even though I am not experience in this. Got to pray really hard and ask God for His strengthening and anointing. I pray hard that God will use me greatly in this measure to support the service and the conference performances. Have to also cope with changes, in structure, in my group, in my sheeps, in my life. If not for God whom I will depend, who can I seek? Only Him!!!

I need Him and will always need. I love to be in need in fact. I love to be in need of Him. =)

God is great, amen!

2009-07-14T18:29:00.002+08:00

I fast,

I failed on the first day.

because of Prata at 1.10am.

I prayed,

He says it's okay,

try again.

I fast,

Broke fast without knowing.

Came out snacking on Ham around 3am,

realise it only after I've taken a bite.

I repent,

he said don't take it to mind,

why not let's do it again.

I fast,

satisfied that I didn't feast on carbo or supper,

rejoice with myself that I restrain myself from temptations.

Slept and gave myself a pat on the shoulder.

I prayed,

realising something is missing,

but I do not know what it is,

I ignored it.

I fast,

somehow compromising when I saw the bread with curry.

Ate a little bread and thinking it should be alright,

since Curry itself will be weird to drink it as it is.

I repent,

God rebuke me and gave me an insight.

See? This is the result of depending on your own strength.

It's not going to work. Try again.

I fast,

during my lunch I ate all the ingredients,

except for the mountains of rice in each packet I receive.

My parents once again scolded me.

But it was different this time.

I prayed,

and my prayers I gave thanks because He helped me to react wisely.

I was able to fulfil my fast and not end up in blows with mummy.

It's true I need Him.

I fast,

and forgotten in the evening when I munched on freshly baked bread.

It was so nice that after realising, I continued stuffing them into my mouth.

I repent,

feeling so guilty and upset with myself.

He somehow tell me, let's try this again until you get it right.

I may be failing, but I am not quitting.

I want to be like Peter.

At least He tried to walk on water, while the others didn't even tried.

Stepping out of the boat, Here I come.

2009-07-09T01:17:00.002+08:00

The greatest celebration was to hear from my fellow friends, the growth in me, and how have I made an impact in their lives.

Im glad I lived my life, at least, worthwhile.

And I hope the many years, will come more different affirmation, for the growth in God is everlasting and consistent. I will like, to always be growing in God. Not to be stagnant, as a matter of dishonor in His name.

Thanks to all who sent birthday greetings to me via sms, via FB, via MSN. Thanks to all who celebrated my birthday with me. Thanks to those that came to visit me when Im sick on my birthday! Thanks to those who are so sweet in praying for me, my life and my health. Thanks mummy and daddy, I should have appreciated you guys much earlier and know you guys love me so much. I don't want to lose time anymore, I want to cherish you guys.

Thank God, I know you're behind all these. =)

And praying for more: A spiritual Breakthrough, I desire.

2009-07-07T13:05:00.007+08:00

Bday Celebration =)

2009-07-07T00:27:00.002+08:00

THE TOP 20 MISSION IMPOSSIBLE BIRTHDAY WISHES
Read only if you dare.

1. Macbook Pro 17"

2. 3G iphone

3. 15.1 Megapixels Canon Camera

4. GUESSTM Spectacles plus 1 year supply of daily color contact lenses

5. Topshop Shirt: White in pale blue strips

6. HP 4 in one Printer

7. DKNY Green Apple Perfume

8. Makeover for SKIN & HAIR

9. My Own ROOM

10. SketchBook from ART Friend; earth friendly series

11. Fine Dining by Esplanade, 3rd Floor

12. A JOB with GOOD Pay, GOOD Location, GOOD Flexibility, GOOD working environment

13. Prince Charming. LOL

14. Slimming Centre Treats (Jean Yip be good)

15. Semi-formal Long Blazor

16. Whole M.A.C makeup series plus makeup box

17. An Oversea trip to Korea!

18. SURPRISES (like doing things that can really surprise me and touch me to tears. ha.)

19. Spiritual Breakthrough! (Only God can answer this!)

20. Friends Forever =)

2009-07-05T13:58:00.002+08:00

It had been a time of divine exchange.

It's more than what words can express.

It's completely a time of thanksgiving.

Im awe and pampered by His love.

The fig tree die to itself

To produce a fruit plenty and many

Useless as it seems but when nature takes it's course

Things become different, the weak can say "Im strong"

A time of fasting and praying

For a spiritual breakthrough to come

Tough time it may be for the soul and the mind

But for the spirit it's more than worthy

A longing deep within for a change of everything

A desperate call for help from the one that's all we need

With faith we seek for a complete healing

From the inside out let the spirit reigns

I give thanks.

2009-07-01T11:25:00.002+08:00

振作起来。

让这个破烂的灵魂随风而去。

从新站起来，迎接一个新的自己。

我不要被过去摆布。

脆弱的心思，就好比一朵粉红色的玫瑰。

看似艳梅讨人爱，但也不过是个过客。

随着时间的蔓延，她在人们的心里也将会消失。

我不要再堕落下去，

让我重新做回自己，找回真正属于我的自己。

这懒散的身躯，我要抛弃他。

别埋怨，要努力。

一定会有出人头地的一天。

2009-06-26T17:27:00.002+08:00

A hunger.

Desperate for breakthrough, a change in the utter ugliness.

In despair, I panick. Further I sink, into the deep blue sea.

It's like something dragging me to hell,

Im left with nothing much to free myself.

Holding me tight

Bear no more I can

In pain I persevere

Yet in no time I'll falter

Please, me to be save

No longer can I cling on

Chains be broken

Hearts be heal

I see an orphan

Me myself

Crying out to you

.In a stage of action.

2009-06-23T00:29:00.002+08:00

Someone, else.

Maybe if you hadn't speak

I would have drifted away

But yet you hold me tight

Promising that you might

In your embrace I receive comfort

Near to your heart, I delight

My joy beats along with the tempo

You bring along a rhythm in me

Someone else steals me far apart

Quick take me back to be with you

I. need. you.

Don't go away. Let me be near. you.

2009-06-16T21:23:00.004+08:00

Lord, I lift, your name up higher

Higher than the mountains and the valleys

Lord, I life, your name up higher

Higher than any other name

And Lord, I life your name up high, higher

Higher than all things that's on the earth

And Lord, I life your name up high, higher

Higher than all name

Lift you up above my problems

Lift you up above my troubles

Lift you up above my sorrows

Lift you up above my tiredness

2009-06-13T13:42:00.002+08:00

Support. Life Support.

Are you a support to others or are you a foul to support?

Feels empty unsupported

Feels alone unsupported

Feels discouraged unsupported

Feels like you're fighting the whole world unsupported

Learn ur words, actions, behaviours again.

Your unsupported speech inside out might have dawn a dark shadow on others.

2009-06-11T17:03:00.003+08:00

The beauty of life lies not in how happy you are, but how happy others are, because of you.

It was another late night caregroup once again last night.

The caregroup members gathered together

Had lots of joy and laughter

Peeps were sort of enjoying the new monopoly cards Joycelyn brought

Bing quan gave the innocent look but yet was winning

Joycelyn went haywired with her intensive phototaking session

Meihwa and Jess were enjoying their subway sandwich

I was drooling and bought some nice chicken salad

Meihwa was amazed by my purchase?

Joleen starts to drool over my chicken salad

Too bad when she wants to make an order the stall had close!

Liping was really nervous for her first time teaching in the caregroup

You can do it girl! Go go go~

Meihwa shared about leadership and it was great

I thought about self-awareness and personal development

We had a long chat after the sharing

Passion, work, studies, future

Building relationship with Jess

Praying for Hanyew who is sick recently and wasn't present yesterday

Had this sweet smile on the bus back home

Reflecting on the little quote my shepherd sent me last night =)

I like to see people around me smiling

I love to influence how they feel

I hope that I play a part to make them happy

That's where it makes me happy

Tasting the reason why God rejoices when I am filled with the real joy that can last me long. It's a joy to see others rejoicing. For the right reason.

2009-06-08T17:43:00.002+08:00

ABBOTT Manufacturing Singapore

About ABBOTT

We are a global, broad-based health care company devoted to discovering new medicines, new technologies and new ways to manage health. Our products span the continuum of care, from nutritional products and laboratory diagnostics through medical devices and pharmaceutical therapies. Our comprehensive line of products encircles life itself – addressing important health needs from infancy to the golden years.

Throughout our 100+ year history, Abbott people have been driven by a constant goal: to advance medical science to help people live healthier lives. It’s part of our heritage. And, it continues to drive our work. Today, 65,000 Abbott employees around the world share the passion for "Turning Science Into Caring." It's a commitment to focusing on what matters most: life and the potential it holds when we are feeling our best.

Abbott has sales, manufacturing, research and development, and distribution facilities around the world, close to where our customers need us to be. We are recognized for our global reach and our ability to serve our customers around the world.

Abbott prides itself on being recognized as a good place to work because we strive to provide an environment that enables employees to succeed. We have received numerous local, national and international distinctions for our commitment to workplace excellence. Our programs range from award-winning health care benefits to a variety of convenience and wellness services and long-term retirement benefits.

Our commitment to improving life extends to humanitarian causes. We recognize that as a leading provider of innovative health care products, we have a unique responsibility and opportunity to ensure people have access to them – whether they are among the poor and underprivileged or are victims of natural disasters. We’re determined to do our part through creative and varied social programs.

The promise of our company is in the promise that our work holds for health and for life.

Job Prospect

Abbott offers more than just a job – our diversity allows us to offer employees unlimited career opportunities in a variety of disciplines, including research, science, technology, finance, engineering, and marketing, as well as across many health care specialties, including pharmaceutical, medical products and nutritionals. And, we’re proud to say that our efforts have been recognized by distinguished publications and organizations, such as The Corporate Research Foundation, Great Places to Work Institute-Europe, Business Week, Forbes, Fortune, Money, Science and Working Mother.

Abbott provides equal opportunities for every employee – no matter which role they play or how long they’ve been with the company – and works hard to nurture an atmosphere that fosters creative thinking and helps employees develop to their full potential. We believe the simple reason why any organization – or individual – reaches its full potential is because diversity is valued, appreciated, and supported at all levels.

Just went for an interview there.. The plant is really grand, the company is really good.

Believe it will a great place to learn and work. Hopefully I can get through the interview and work there!

God please, not by my work but your grace.

Help me to have found favor in my interviewers and successfully work there!

Praise Him for who He is

Thank Him for His blessing

For I do not deserve =)

2009-06-07T10:20:00.002+08:00

Frail Hope.

I stood alone by the roadside

Overwhelm by the stretch of rough texture surrounding me

I am afraid, I am in fear

What's that is install for me, I am in ignorance

I represent a frail hope that awaits

Only for a savior to take me home

A little yellow flower that seems too pretty

Dealing with the circumstances roaming around

It wonders why it's roots set place

Although it do make a difference somehow

Deep in it's stigma, frail hope within

It's hard not to believe, survival is sparse

Withering in it's own strength, it seems like there is no more

Yet a little yellow flower, can withstand it all

The life-giver never puts you in a situation that's too hard for you

It will be just enough to show how good is He

The frail hope within shall be sufficient

As faith like a mustard seed is enough to move mountains

Im your yellow flower.

2009-06-02T21:36:00.002+08:00

What's inside?

Even I am deceive of what's the make-up of me

For the heart is deceiving in a matter of it's own

Who do I seek and trust for the truth?

Only the creator provide the answer

Sometimes I thought, I am someone else. But the truth reveals, someone that surprises me. Who am I, exactly to others and to self? It doesn't matter, except who am I in Him.

It's a time of moulding, it's a time of shaping. It's a time of reflecting, it's a time of changing.

There will be a session of tears, heartbreaking moments, mind blowing circumstances.

But Im willing. I want to grow into a woman of character for God.

Change me more, touch me more.

Break my heart for what break yours.

2009 - Consecration and Sanctification

2009-06-01T19:20:00.001+08:00

Two friends were walking near Times Square in Manhattan. It was during the noon lunch hour and the streets were filled with people. Cars were honking their horns, taxis were squealing around corners, sirens were wailing and the sounds of the city were almost deafening.

Suddenly, one of them said, "What an interesting place to hear a cricket."

His friend said, "You must be crazy. You couldn't possibly hear a cricket in all of this noise!"

"No, I'm sure of it," his friend said, "I heard a cricket."

"That's crazy," said his friend.

The man, who thought he had heard a cricket, listened carefully for a moment and then walked across the street to a big, cement planter where some shrubs were growing. He looked into the bushes, beneath the branches, and sure enough, he located a small cricket.

His friend was utterly amazed."That's incredible," said his friend. "You must have superhuman ears!"

"No," said the man who heard the cricket. "My ears are no different from yours. It all depends on what you're listening for."

"But that can't be!" said the friend. "I could never hear a cricket in this noise."

"Yes, it's true," came the reply. "It depends on what is really important to you. Here, let me show you."

He reached into his pocket, pulled out a few coins, and discreetly dropped them on the sidewalk. And then, with the noise of the crowded street still blaring in their ears, they noticed every head within 20 feet turn and look to see if the money that tinkled on the pavement was theirs.

"See what I mean?" asked the man who had heard the cricket. "It all depends on what's important to you." (Keenan Kelsey, Making Choices, via eSermons.con newsletter)

So.. What's important to me?

And. How about you? =)

2009-06-01T16:57:00.002+08:00

You and I..

It's sweet to be just near You.

You just make my heart healthier each time. Pumping vigorously? Ha.

You know.. I love You.

Dating Jesus. Trying hard to fix my eyes only on Yours.

2009-05-30T10:01:00.003+08:00

Inner Being.

Pieces in me debate in confusion

My mind is filled thus with frustration

Hands and Feets do not align

Stumbling and Falling became my life

Plead for help, my heart desire

Yet my pride had fail my sight

On and on I dread inside

In Fear In pain where my hope subside

Verge of vanquish I found a light

The source is of love, patient and kind

Magic arrange the pieces of mine

Unite my heart as one desire

He change my life my path my sight

In me became a dwelling of joy

No pain No fear holds me inside

For now the truth sets me free all night

Pieces get lost in me that's right

But now I know the reason why

No more ME but only YOU

Thank You God that's in my life

2009-05-25T21:22:00.002+08:00

(Lamentations 3:22-27)
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself,
"The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.
It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.

Because you love me, therefore I do not drown in my own sins. Your love had rescue me, who can compare to your great love? Your faithfulness is majestic, it never fails when I call upon your name. Every morning as the sun rises, I'll praise the new day you blessed me. How could I survive, without You in my life? For you complete me, without You, I am nothing. I put my hope in You, for your goodness is upon those who seeks after you. I wait upon your soft and still voice, to save me from my own corrupted mind. Let my youth be blessed, for servanthood starts from young.

(Lamentations 3:57)
You came near when I called you,
and You said, ''Do not fear.''

And you said, come.. Don't be ashame of what you are, I have cleanse you.

2009-05-24T21:12:00.002+08:00

Really got to thank God for PBB, it was really a success!

Heard on sat, the cumulative estimation of visitors receiving Jesus into their lives,

is around 18 of them! Praise God for the souls that are saved!

As the saying goes, when 1 sinner repents,

the whole heaven rejoices!

It's considered my first time stage managing an entire mega service,

other than the previous post easter service, which was a god blessed service too!

I learnt many things through PBB as a stage manager,

have the opportunity to explore further my role and duties.

It was pretty intensive and taxing for the mind,

but I enjoy the whole process!

The awareness that I can never do it alone,

draws me nearer to God as I labor in prayer for God's strengthening.

He is good!

Can't stop giving thanks for all that He is doing in our lives, our hearts.

Let's praise Jesus! Woohoo~

2009-05-18T11:23:00.005+08:00

Well, my birthday wishes for Gordon,

I already said them all on 6th floor!

Hey dude, I was loud enough people can hear me,

all the way on level 5.

Happy Birthday Anyway! Here's some photos for you.

This is what I meant by PUFFY HAIR.

Happy Birthday to Santono as well! I don't have a lot of your photos..

But just want to thank God for the growth that I've seen in you!

Continue to serve God greatly in SP Unit. =)

Moving on the Jeremy's Kiu question,

when is our CRIPPLED BEGGARS ALUMNI GATHERING?

Date: 13th June 2009

Location: Edmund's house

Time: TBC

Event: Edmund's Birthday PLUS Beggars retreat (LOL)

Purpose: Celebrate with dear BOTAK EDMUND and catch up!

Invited people:

- Huiru

- Jason

- Laiteng

- Wanting

- Jeremy Kiu

- Gordon

- Jasmine

- Joella

I didn't miss out anybody right? Heh.

DO be there okay guys! I will sms you all again.

See u. =)

Last but not the least,

I found something I post in the past,

that is really funny. But I think it works! HAHA.

Refer as below:

THIS POST IS SPECIALLY FOR JEREMY KIU FROM CRIPPLED BEGGARS, SP1

Genesis 400:1 - 7
1 Thou shall switch the phone to general mode unless in service, caregroup, prayer meet or in class.

2 Thou shall pick up the phone that vibrates like HELL after 20 missed calls or so.

3 Thou shall learn to pray for a discerning ear so may I be able to realise the phone has rang.

4 Thou shall return calls immediately when realising MISSED CALLS and MESSAGES awaiting for replies.

5 Thou shall not pretend that the phone has not rang when is aware.

6 Thou shall do a spot check on the phone every 10 to 15 minutes.

7 If thou did not fulfil all these that is written in the book of the law from the MONSTER UR SHEPHERD, you will suffer ten days of TAKPOK and 10 MONTHS of intensive shepherding on picking up phone calls.

(the above shall be regarded seriously and not taken as a joke, thank you.)

2009-05-11T20:50:00.002+08:00

You're like the wind,

endless of surprises.

You bring joy with your cheerful breath,

but you doom my joy at times in storm.

You were close to my cheeks,

I blushed with your gentle touch.

The chilled air of your presence cools my day,

but it sends me in shivers when it comes too plenty.

You are strong when you respire in anger,

lifting me in the space.

Sometimes my insecurity arises in you,

for you left me nowhere but where I will be alone.

Lifting my head up again,

I find you all around me.

Wind. Love. Me.

2009-05-08T13:23:00.003+08:00

Wow.. Life's a blast recently.

Many happenings, plenty to share.

Let me recall my last post,

I realise I mentioned I have a confession to make.

That confession, is a humble repentance,

between God and I.

There were many problems in the past 2 months,

Family conflicts, relational miscommunication, Situational frustration, Financial torndown.

Yet my confession that comes with a heart that repents,

is my realisation before God, that I am the problem.

God is good for speaking in my most down times,

telling me what is worth in my chasing after the wind?

It is meaningless.

But His command, my duty as as a man, to stay steadfast in Him,

is what that will bring me riches of His grace.

I bow down in tears and brokenness,

stood back up once again for more of Him to break more of me.

Consecrate my heart, this is my desire.

The past 4 days I have been busy working,

nevertheless, working is always a strain on the physical body.

As I experience the toil crawling up my nerves and catching up my breath,

God never fails to strengthen and give me the joy to continue.

The joy arises from a simple servanthood to the young and the old,

I delight and found purpose being a temporary staff of the polyclinic.

He provides lovely colleagues that warms my heart with random chats,

He fills my heart with enthusiasm for every early morning reporting of work.

God is good, and always good.

The wednesday was a testing for my soul,

as I struggle with my drained body to go for care group.

Having the thought of leading worship and going through hours of CG,

the devil prompt me to use my headache and stomachache as an excuse.

I pull myself up against the wall, and force my lazy legs to the bus stop.

There in the bus I pray for healing and refreshment,

when I alight, I was a new woman. Refreshed, and no more pain.

Singapore is back to the yellow warning,

it is a joy for many Singaporeans and residents.

But it became a worry for my life,

because that may result in the shortening of my part-time job in the clinic.

I pray right now that God strengthen my faith in Him,

that He allow me to have overflowing job offers in the recent weeks.

Let me not be jobless but job-filled,

help me to earn sufficiently for my family and myself.

God shall provide, I pray.

Your grace is sufficient.

2009-04-29T17:05:00.002+08:00

Caregroup beginning in 2 hours time.

What are you, my God, going to speak to me this time round?

A confession post coming up. Stay tune.

2009-04-26T16:38:00.002+08:00

God has been good to me for the past few weeks.
Though it had been a rocky road,
there were plenty of ups and downs,
but He always have His way of reminding me to come back to Him.

I deem myself as a weak woman in Him,
only through His power and strength,
then can I be sustain and complete.

It was tough to hold on in difficult circumstances,
but there's nothing that God cannot overcome.
His grace is sufficient.
I will do all things in Christ alone.

Jorris,
Your life may not be a bed of roses, but remember, I am the wind that will lift you up like a poppy seed wandering in the air, under the bright blue sky, above the crisp green field. I will carry you across many places, and at times, you may experience storm, floods and even typhoon. But my plan is perfect, for at the right time, I will settle you in a land where you will multiply plenty. Your sufferings are not ignored, but they are experienced in Me. You may feel unfair, but that's because you are focusing too much on what's around you, and not what's inside you. I've seen your efforts, I've seen your achievements, I've seen how you try your best to fight for my church. But what that matters to me the most, is not these, but it is your inner-being with me. You know the value, but you are not fully applying. Come to Me, I will give you rest. Focus on me and not other things, stop worrying, I will bring you through. The breakthrough shall begins with consistency. You will build yourself strong in Me.

2009-04-23T12:29:00.002+08:00

Look at the sky,
Look how they shine for you.
Until your skin gets burn,
how wonderful, to get a tan, right?

Laugh out Loud.

It's the best season of the year,
to visit the best locatin of Singapore, Sentosa,
to have your exclusive golden bath,
for only 3 bucks per entry.

If you will like to get the look of a peeling snake,
or preferably a burning red lobster,
this limited edition offer, is not to be missed.
Visit now, before it's too late!

- contact Jorris Ng for further details regarding the tour.

________________________________________________

Have not been making it for caregroups for a few weeks.
Got to work it out in this case, I can't let this continue.
Ministry work are increasing.
Well, when we want growth and reach for a greater peak,
we got to work harder. Right?
So this is something that's normal.
My job applications are not getting anywhere.
Im getting worried over it..
Is it my criterias, that are set too high?
All I wanted is an office job, 5/5.5 days,
convenient for travelling and a pay that's between $1500 - $1700.
My parents are getting impatient over it.

Oh God.. Please help me.
I know somehow, Im not doing that well in my life.
Break me.
Hit me hard so I can grow out of this.

To someone: no matter where u are, I still love you. I will be here. Okay. =)

2009-04-20T15:16:00.002+08:00

Just feeling a little bored and so, Im here. Oh yeah.
Got this feeling that I have nothing much to do,
but actually I do ya, don't feel like doing them for the moment.
Felt like just, slacking, lying around, resting.

Last week service, was a blast.
First time stage managing for an ESS,
and it was pretty intense I got to say you know.
Hmm... From technical point of view,
it wasn't a vavavoom, that means, not a BIG BANG success ya.
But God really strike my heart that miracles still exist,
when so many people flood the front of the auditorium,
during the altar call.

15 converts, what a magnificent sight.
It's been a long time, since polydins ever had so many converts.
The Lord is with us, and it shows that what that matters,
is not what that is outside, but what that is inside.
There can be no other reason than God, who had moved those hearts.
Praise God. =)

Blessed by liyan for my dinner, thanks. Thank God.
Blessed by the movie hangout peeps for the movie, sniper.
Thank you all, Thank God.

Love all. =)

2009-04-17T11:35:00.002+08:00

As I rehearse in my mind the songs for Usher's Prayer Meet,
my lips began to move and whisper the melody of the song..

There and then, the lyrics start to move my soul.

Come and make, my heart, your home.
Come and be everything I am and all I know.
Search me, through and through.
Till my heart becomes, a home for you.

A home for you...... ......... .............
A home for you...... ......... .............
Let everything I do, open up a door for you to come through.
And my heart would be, a place that you want to be.

It was by the bus stop, and on the bus numbered 502.
I sang the song and his spirit moved in me.
I want very much for this heart of mine to be a heart that he wants to be.
But I know that it is not that pleasing yet, to his soul.
Thus I sang to him, search me through and through,
until the very day my heart can becomes, a home for him.

=)

2009-04-13T18:35:00.003+08:00

Losing Myself.

Ever had a moment, you found a stranger within?
Or perhaps, deep within you struggle to understand who you truely are?

When the going gets tough,

frustration sets in and may overcome the rational you.

You behave without any self-control,

your attitude changes 360 degree.

You began to sense fear in your heart,

for this person whom is representing you, does not seems to be you.

You tried to find excuses for the reason why this is happening,

but yet unable to find a reason that can raise the possibility of being possess?

The truth is that you are trying to escape,

and you are just cheating yourself that this isn't you.

This is you. And this is what you need to change.

You think you are losing yoursef?

Think again.

Probably it's good to let the old be gone, and the new to come.

2009-04-09T12:17:00.002+08:00

Random lines of a perplexed journey,
path with blankets of comfort in grace.

Frustrated by the importance of money,
leading to sinful thoughts and actions sometimes.
In the midst of finding myself materialism,
I repent and found myself guilty.
Yet when Im poor I am rich,
I came to discover the blessings of His church.
So comforting to my heart I thought...

Tied down by my busy schedule,
my heart and spirit grew weak and become faint.
Full of regrets my words reveal,
for I have not focus on the Lord that will lift my life.
Knowing that I've struggled and am in pain,
the Lord has not forgotten me.
He expresses His love to me in anonymous,
with planned coincidence that warms my heart.

There are some days where conflicts take place,
rubbing of shoulders and clashing words deprives us from loving each other.
I will often spot myself at one corner,
complaining and struggling about loving individuals that's really hard to love.
Thank God His grace is always sufficient for our weaknesses,
my narrow heart will always be embraced by His infinite love.
His word and transformation power will ultimately work it's wonders,
forgiveness rings in me and love simply melt off all conflicts.

In doubt He gave me assurance.
In pain He gave me comfort.
In anger He gave me counselling.
In joy He gave me His blessings.

Always there: The sunday joy-giver. =)

2009-04-08T01:16:00.002+08:00

Stones, bricks and tubes.

What do you see, beneath.

Ages of humanity,

Histories of wear and tear.

Amidst I saw the sweat of the laborer,

and the loneliness of a old grandma sitting on the tatami of the old house.

Look beyond. Get the right picture.

2009-04-07T11:45:00.002+08:00

Dear beloved,

sometimes you gets really confused of what's going on.
You questioned yourself, why is this happening to me?
And then you come before God.. Asking why is this part of His plan?
You cover your face with that pair of hands that've been stained with tears,
you tried so hard to draw yourself away from the crowd...
You begin to prefer solitude. You wanted to be alone.

But you know sometimes?
Letting it stay within yourself is not going to help.
You got to pour it out, let it flow out of you.
Don't let the emotions grow into something negative. Not bitter. Not hatred.
The more you wanted a life that's what you prefer,
the more you will try to hold it tighter, closer.
But sometimes you just have to let it go, and trust in God's direction.

You know how a kite flies?
You got to learn that at some point of the time,
you have to let go of the string, and let the nature takes it's path.
If not, the string will only snap at the end of the day.

PS: If this speaks to you, you are that beloved that Im talking about. =)

2009-04-04T12:48:00.002+08:00

Blow wind blow.

Blew away my sorrows
Take away my feelings
Chase away my cries

And there you are my sunshine!

Who says serving you is easy?
Who says things are not going to be hard?
But I say no matter what I try my best to hold my pride down,
in humility and obedience I follow!

To the ends of the earth,
yes I sang that. =)

2009-04-01T12:59:00.002+08:00

In my loneliness
You are there
To reveal your righteousness
In my despair

Jesus, I live for you
...

It's heart piercing to serve God and your family do not understand
It is painful, more than just physical pain to bear
Quarrels are stirred and tears flood the faces of you and your parents
But you simply do not know how to explain for they can't identify why

At a point you might thought of giving up
But nevertheless, I shall hold on and continue to give my all
They will understand eventually
Though it's hard on me now, but it will not be forever

Do your work in me, Oh Lord. Wipe my tears.

2009-03-31T13:18:00.003+08:00

Chaotic family matters.

Been hearing alot about the chaos of families.
Mine is part of those dramatic stories.

Finance big bang.
Extreme emotions blowing up here and there.
Mind challenging periods.
Depression, suspicions, fingers pointing.
Everyday is shouting and crying day.
Daddy, mummy, brother, me.

I need your coverage God.
If only I have a job mummy don't have to work.
Then she won't find herself so tired all the time..
Which leads to her moodswings and suspicions that makes the whole atmosphere in the family so intense.
We need more of your love in us,
so we will not break each other in this period,
but bond stronger with one another.
I need your rebuking and correcting even more,
for I need to learn hard about doing more for the family.
No matter what, I hold on to you.

Give my best to family, work, and ministries.
Help.

2009-03-30T01:59:00.001+08:00

Jesus Betrayed by Judas
by Max Lucado

When betrayal comes, what do you do? Get out? Get angry? Get even? You have to deal with it some way. Let's see how Jesus dealt with it.

Begin by noticing how Jesus saw Judas. "Jesus answered, 'Friend, do what you came to do.' " (Matthew 26:50)

Of all the names I would have chosen for Judas it would not have been "friend." What Judas did to Jesus was grossly unfair. There is no indication that Jesus ever mistreated Judas. There is no clue that Judas was ever left out or neglected. When, during the Last Supper, Jesus told the disciples that his betrayer sat at the table, they didn't turn to one another and whisper, "It's Judas. Jesus told us he would do this.

"They didn't whisper it because Jesus never said it. He had known it. He had known what Judas would do, but he treated the betrayer as if he were faithful.

It's even more unfair when you consider the betrayal was Judas's idea. The religious leaders didn't seek him, Judas sought them. "What will you pay me for giving Jesus to you?" he asked. (Matthew 26:15) The betrayal would have been more palatable had Judas been propositioned by the leaders, but he wasn't. He propositioned them.

And Judas's method ... again, why did it have to be a kiss? (Matthew 26: 48--49)

And why did he have to call him "Teacher"? (Matthew 26:49) That's a title of respect. The incongruity of his words, deeds, and actions--I wouldn't have called Judas "friend."

But that is exactly what Jesus called him. Why? Jesus could see something we can't...

Jesus knew Judas had been seduced by a powerful foe. He was aware of the wiles of Satan's whispers (he had just heard them himself). He knew how hard it was for Judas to do what was right.

He didn't justify what Judas did. He didn't minimize the deed. Nor did he release Judas from his choice. But he did look eye to eye with his betrayer and try to understand.

As long as you hate your enemy, a jail door is closed and a prisoner is taken. But when you try to understand and release your foe from your hatred, then the prisoner is released and that prisoner is you.

Forgiveness is the key. Forgive and forget.

2009-03-29T14:24:00.002+08:00

An upcoming movie only in December, but Im all excited over it and the scenes of the preview are playing merry-go-round in my brain.

Named as 252, it represents a code that symbolises "signal of life". Zooming in on the survivors from a badly hit Tokyo by the disastrous typhoon, it depicts the intensity performed by the hyper rescue squad who aims to make the impossible to be possible. To save those trapped in a fallen subway station within the limited time before another brutal punch from the life-taking typhoon, the team have to struggle in having faith in what they will be attempting. Definitely a movie that will shakes your heart and bring tears to your eyes as it not only carries excitement, but also touches the deepest humanity of fragile beings.

Quoted from SciFi Japan:

252: SIGNAL OF LIFE (252: Seizonsha Ari), the biggest disaster drama ever to strike the screens of Japan, will move everyone to tears. It’s a drama of extreme conditions, told from both sides of the rescue operation in the aftermath of a disaster; the survivors trapped in the collapsed subway station and the rescuers attempting to save them against the devastating force of nature. This spectacular catastrophe was shown for the first time at Cannes Film Market and attracted international attention. 252: SIGNAL OF LIFE tells the story of a natural disaster, and this global concern is realistically depicted with a Hollywood-scale production. The ferocity of nature has been visualized in an unprecedented scale through real scenes and CG. This is the story of the greatest escape drama and a high-risk rescue operation, with life or death for the survivors divided by only 18 minutes!

You can find out much more about the details of this movie from the following link:
http://www.scifijapan.com/articles/2009/01/23/252-signal-of-life-production-notes/

Who wants to watch with me? Ha. It's still early! We can make reservations!

2009-03-29T03:55:00.003+08:00

A great late night movie to end the fellowship day:

12 rounds.

I find that the movie is pretty engaging,

the plot is detailed and I can see the producer's intelligence through it's ability in ensuring all gaps of the show are well covered and transit smoothly. Praise God for such talent in the media industry. Perhaps for some they might just focus on the action and trails, but for me my emphasis lies always in the story plot. This movie blew my mind off with it's intriguing surprise at the most unexpected conclusive stages. I love the actor John Cena, though he's not my type of guy, laughs. A movie worth watching and it's definitely worth spending the money. I'll give it a rating of 7.5/10.

And thanks Colin for driving me back home! Though interestingly, we got stopped by the police at the roadblocks near Toh Guan area. Anyway, we were intending to pull by the bus stop for me and Ephraim to align and return to our houses. But it was a pretty rare sight that I caught today! Helped me to make a new conclusion about Singapore Police force~

SG Police is pretty POWER!

Why do I say so? Cause one of the police was performing the usual procedures with us, checking our IC with the HQ as to whether we have any criminal records or perhaps we are some illegal immigrants. And also, double confirming whether Colin's license is valid and accurate. Then out of a sudden, another group of police shouted and informed to the rest of their colleagues they spotted a vehicle moving backwards after finding out that there is a road block. Immediately they sense something wrong with this act of guilt performe by the vehicle, and they run into their car to chase after that vehicle!

Cool~ The thing is, me and Ephraim were wondering since it's so far away, would they have spotted clearly how that vehicle look like (the distance is like a flyover away...), and that means even if they managed to quickly drove to that spot which the suspected vehicle slipped away, they can't identify it. So, yeah... But anyway, it's just that I thought in Singapore, our police won't get this "intense". Maybe Im wrong afterall! LOL.

Anyway, today's sermon was good. Praise God for Jasmine =)

2009-03-25T11:43:00.002+08:00

It was a fruitful night with cheryl's mum cooking,
spending time with her family members,
that's her mum and her younger sister.

The food was simple yet delicious,
there was sour plum chicken and steamed egg with minced meat.
We ate together around the living room table,
watched TV together and hang around like a family.

And there and then me and cheryl had a fruitful time in her room,
sharing lotsa stuffs about our family life and reflection on camp.
I really want to praise God that He had done a great thing in her heart,
stirring her to continue and strive her best in her life.

Cheryl, Im proud of you!
Continue to grow stronger alright?
God is going to use you greatly and powerfully,
regardless of what happen in the past.
You are a new creation in Him, and He is there with you. =)

Love you!

2009-03-23T18:24:00.002+08:00

Something really strikes my heart and I believe this is what God wants to tell everyone who had been at the VISION FARM for the last three days:

The Camp has ended but the true purpose of the camp has just Begin!

It is true that the 3 days 2 night camp have marked it's grand ending, and now everyone is back with their daily life and routine. However, God really rings in my heart that we should not let the camp remain as just a fruitful and memorable experience, but to allow it to impact and inspire us in our daily life. I really believe that God has spoken His word to many who has turned up for the camp, and surely His word are meant to be apply for the best of our lives. Regardless of the heart condition that you carry when you arrive at the camp site, if God has spoken to you, surely you are refreshed by now!

For me, I believe what that God has strikes my heart and touched my innermost being is His assurance of His providence. He has dropped His word in my heart that, regardless of my inadequacy, He can still use me to do great things for His kingdom. Quoted from Jasmine during the response time, she was saying: God pick the weak to be use for His kingdom purpose, so that at the end of the day, He will be glorifed. Was really touched by God because before the camp, I am exposed to many feedbacks, self-reflection and experiences regarding my weaknesses and blindspot. Thank God for His spoken word.

Im not sure about you, but surely after this camp, I really want to be determine in meeting the objectives of my life. They are as follow:

- Find a job and begin exploring my divine career (wait upon the Lord for direction)
- Be more observant of my own behavior, speech and way of dealing with issues
- Blindspot: Disrespectful tone of speech; occasionally swayed by emotions
- Usher ministry: To groom the leadership team and grow the ushers in quantity and quality
- Image ministry: Pioneer the standards and explore ways of improvements
- Expand my non-believer friends circle
- Improve my relationship with family members

These objectives to me, are hard to meet as of current, and I indeed do have doubts about how am I going to achieve them. But truely I believe and want to continue to put my faith in God, trusting that he will provide for me everything that I need in order to fulfil these goals at the end of 2009.

To all the other campers, I pray and encourage you that you will let the camp work in your life because God has worked in you through the camp. =)

2009-03-19T01:59:00.002+08:00

You! Make my world colorful~

You're like the BLUE sky in my world, never ending and always there.
PINK? Just like that pink cap, Im in love with You lots lots.
Striking color, let it be RED! You grab my attention like those classic sexy red lipstick.
Are you talking about PURPLE? You soothes my mind like those lavender.

Hmmm... If I were to be environmental friendly, you will be the GREEN im looking for!
Just like the fur on my lovely KIKI, you will be that brown I always remember.
When Im hungry I think of macdonald, your YELLOW will surely noted. =)
There and then when I open my closet, nothing but your BLACK I will see!

I daydream sometimes about those sunflower fields, ORANGE I see, so are you.
When I grow old and those hair turn WHITE, you will still stand by my side. =)

You are the rainbow and I am the rain.
You color the gloomy me.

2009-03-18T15:53:00.003+08:00

Holding on to You!

The Q&A session:

What do you do when you are stretch like a rubber band?

Pray to God that you won't snap!

What should you do when you found your cup drying?

Sing to God and you will find your cup overflows!

What to do when you're so lost about what to do with so many things on hand?

Ask Him to help you carry some on your hands so you have time to figure out!

What to do when you're cravin for Chilli padis with sorethroat but got to sing later?

Pray to God and He will satisfy your stomach and throat at the same time.

(that's what he did for me... SUPERNATURAL: Chilli padis healed my throat!)

What to do when you don't know what to do?

Ask Him for wisdom and knowledge lar!

What to do when at the end of the day you finish everything?

Praise Him and give thanks. =)

PS: I have successfully graduated from SP this morning. Results are out. =)

2009-03-17T12:09:00.001+08:00

Camp is coming.

Wow. Time flies really fast!

Had been busy preparing for the camp stuffs and all...
That I really forgotten about the time.
It had been taxing recently with all these things going on,
and furthermore I need to look for a Job!
Haha..

But well I thank God for the opportunity to serve,
and the chance to witness the many backstage HEROES. heh.

Well just want to say,
everyone! Let's really anticipate for the camp!
Believed it's going to be really exciting and fruitful.
God is going to move in the camp,
and that's what most important yeah!
woohoo~

Love HIM love HIM! keke.

2009-03-16T12:43:00.002+08:00

I think I am a born thinker?
Often questioning over things in this world.

I find it weird about how humans behave in a certain way,
so intriguing, their thoughts and how far they could assume.
I wonder does other species, like animals?
can think in such a way as well, but they chose not to.

maybe it's better not to be able to think as much?
so there will be lesser trouble and conflicts in this world.

I once thought that if humans do not possess such complicated mindset,
wouldn't it be better?
There won't be conflicts cause nobody would thought of having one.
There won't be misunderstandings for assumptions will not have took place.
All those hurting incidents wouldn't take place too,
cause nobody would thought of doing it.

But then I think again,
if humans can't think as deep as we are doing today...
Nobody would thought of loving another?
Nobody would be motivated to encourage and care for each other.

I tried to think as well why are there sufferings in this world?
When there is such a loving and great God around.
Never can I figure out the answer,
if I have I think I'll be some tip top theologist today.
In my thoughts I wonder too, why in church, hurting people still exist?
When a church exist for the purpose of love.
Sometimes I don't understand why as well,
why christians would fight against each other for glory?
Have not they understand the basics of love that God wants us to possess..

I can't ask anymore why. because I am part of those things that had took place.

hmmm...
At the end of the day, I don't get all my questions answered.
In fact, most of them remain unanswered. Humans aren't that smart afterall.
You know what? I learn, don't try to be GOD.
For His thoughts are not our thoughts, neither His ways our ways.

It's not about putting our faith in Him in ignorance.
It's recognising His sovereignty and thus what ever instill for us,
we trust in Him and not question His authority.

A random post.

2009-03-15T16:17:00.003+08:00

I want to break free.

Away from the worries of this world,
no temptations and problems will be my obstacle.

I can jump on the sunflower field,
enjoying a cup of tea from freshly plucked red tea leaves,
sun bathing under the sun from sentosa,
loving the chilling breeze in Korea.

A cup of frappucino with God,
on the comfortable sofas of starbucks.
With my little notebook I write love songs to Him,
expressing my heartfelt joy for His presence in my life.

I want to shout out loud at some open green field,
telling God how much I love Him and need Him. =)
Gazing upon the beautiful nature I want to be amaze,
by His works and creation of the world.

Loving.

2009-03-13T18:30:00.002+08:00

A post dedicated, to my dear dog. Kiki.

She was there visiting, for CNY. =)

Pretty disturbed by her "grandpa", my dad, who's playing computer games at the other side.

Her Baby photo. Cute right? =)

I got to say I miss her.

Now that she's gone... I don't want to even think.

Call me emotional, but this dog means alot to me.

She will really, bring tears to my eyes.

She was there to cheer me up, when Im stress with studies.

She was there, to make me angry somehow, when she pee on my bed.

She was there to comfort me, when I feel so low.

She was there always.

I feel so helpless.. When she's being sent to SPCA.

I want to do something,but I can't do anything.

All I can do is to see her leave us.

May somebody, adopt her and give her a better future.

Please pray for her ya.. Thanks.

With love,

Your beloved master.

2009-03-11T13:25:00.002+08:00

Let those emotions be stringed

Like a puppet

Teach me to be your puppet master

Those strings will be my fingers

They will move and perform

a pleasing puppet show

I will submit

Humble I shall be

Those strings shall never be snapped by my pride

But attached to your righteousness

Give me the script for the puppet show

And I will train my fingers to give you my best performance

Be patient with me

For neither am I skilled or talented

Hardwork from a meek is all I have to you

It is your plot and your story that makes the show great

Not the puppet

Not the puppet master

Let the audience scream bravo

To the show that delivers a life that stands

It is you that will be glorify

Not me.

2009-03-10T01:56:00.001+08:00

I will sing all my life!
Because you are the melody and I am your song!

I will move on.
Repent, forget, admit my faults.
I want to be a blessing of yours.

2009-03-08T13:36:00.003+08:00

Talk not.
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.........

Sometimes I know not speak what may.
For I am not a pleasing self to many.
A thorn in your heart I may be one perhaps.
In guilt I am for I know not any.
Talk not I think, I should behave as it.
No more hurt and pain, from me I shall.
Tears till it dried every, cried no more.
Hurt shall be it, I am to deserve.
Upset me I admit of course will be it.
For in minds of friend I am one black man.

Dun talk behind my back.
It hurts me even more.

2009-03-06T23:42:00.002+08:00

Super Duper Tired~

After like so long, I am back working as a part-time exhibitor,
for Brookes University.

Know about the career and education fair?
You can visit me there this sunday yea.
It's the last day. But remember! You need to register before coming in.

Camp is drawing near,
Im pretty excited about it.
And pretty nervous over it!
Lots of things coming up... Kinda stress up by them.
Do pray for me and the camp committee that we won't suffer any fatigue!

Right now...
Somehow God is driving me to give my best for the camp.
Not only in the areas that Im in charge,
but in everything. If I notice anything, GO GO GO. Do something!
Feedback, comment, share, help out.
This camp is going to make it big in 2009.
BIG in such a way people lives will be transformed. Amen!

I just want to give thanks to a few people...

Thank God for Ruth and Rebecca!
I believe that they have been working hard to prepare the transfer gifts.
Despite the feedback they face while being new in camp involvement,
they did not fail to continue and give their best!
Ruth you did a good job in dealing with the issue =)
Your calm attitude and humility in accepting comments is great.
Rebecca have been faithful and sacrificial in your role too!
Thank God for the both of you.

Thank God for Lestari~
Bingquan had to leave for Taiwan due to NS matters,
and we had Lestari taking over the entire project.
I thank God for her faithfulness because I know she have other involvements too!
Although she just rise up as a leader,
and have ministry involvement as a singer,
she still willingly take up the challenge to help out!
Thank God for you dear, you have been a great help.
Continue to jiayou for the camp decor!

Thank God for Alina =)
Im glad that you are trying to grow strong in God.
In the midst of pruning,
let there be patience and perseverance.
So may your endurance bear fruits,
in the Lord's spirit and in truth.
Gambate! Im behind you.

More things. More prayers.

2009-03-04T13:59:00.002+08:00

Dark bright
Sadness Rejoice
Fear Courage
Tears Laughter
Abandon Hug me tightly
Wounds Healer
Insecure Love
Pain Listen to me

Look at the brighter side.

GOD IS NOWHERE. What do I see.

2009-03-03T15:40:00.002+08:00

wow. Things can really happen within a few days.

Let me think, the last meeting was Image right?
And there I had meetings crowding my whole saturday.
Singing on sunday with madness feasting after that.
Crazy sunbathing on a blue monday till I get 1st degree burn, without being aware. =)

Got to say, the mama shop meeting is fruitful.
I thank God for Sarah, Geckting and Santono for being part of it!
They are really great partners for a mama shop? Ha.
It was a brain-exploding session in the ESS brainstorming,
I thank God none of us got our head blew off.
The service preparation was intensive as youth service ended late,
nevertheless, I always enjoyed my duty as a stage manager.
Did I mention the music practise on a sixth floor for water baptism praise?
It was really enjoyable. =)

That sunday, I just sang it out to God.
Praise Him yea.

Monday is the crazy one.
With Magdalene and Lestari, my 2 crazy mission trip sisters,
we sun bath for like 5 hours.
It's a relief for my mind, soul, heart I guess.
Been so long since I ever spend sometime doing nothing but fun.
I love the sun at sentosa, and the clouds were, pretty.

It gets a little messy
When everything came tumbling
You wanted that shoulder to lean on
So near yet so far
Late nights you cried in that pink pillow
screaming for help but no one hears
Only the evil grin you found
freak out. You never wanted this

Can't get a hold of yourself
Breakfree is all you long for
You miss those days freed from worries
Only your smile be ever found
Stand out. You always wanted this

2009-02-28T00:57:00.002+08:00

It's spicy rumble bumble lumble whee~

Had a really fruitful time spent with the faithful image team.

comprising of my dearie Jenny,
not forgetting the wonderful Jeremy,
and my sweetie Evangeline.

Although the ministry is not firm up well yet,
and it's definitely not something that's easy to serve,
(Image is really hard to define, I'll say it's like the grey area between white and black)
these people had been really faithful in giving their best to up service image standards!
Let's give them a round of applause =)

We're not very experienced professionals,
but we are keen to learn and attempt new things to express creativity.
Surely we long for Image team to contribute greatly in POLYDINS!
woohoo~

And today's meeting was exciting and fruitful.
We talked about training classes for singers, musos and ushers,
self improvement and experimenting with image among ourselves and sacrificial friends?
Not forgetting to discuss the direction of this ministry,
planning and finalising the structure.

We talked about Image for all the upcoming special services till end of June,
and we are all so crazy over the projects!
Have lots of ideas and things we never tot of in the past rushing into our mind,
I believe it's going to be BIG.

Pray for the Image team! We're going to rock your soul in Nexus,
as you stream into the auditorium for the special services. =)

Keep a lookout.

And did I mention my visit for the camp supplier of the souvenirs?
I get to finalise all the stuffs today!

Excited for it's really good. Anticipate for it! =)

2009-02-26T01:39:00.002+08:00

A lesson learnt in PSPT sharing:
- Guide Our Thought Life -

Anchor Verse:
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. ~proverbs 4:23

Our mind itself is like a nuclear field. It needs special and specific guidance, if not it will explode and leads to destruction.

We need to know that there is no sin in this world that just happen on itself, but only after we entertain to sin in our thoughts. The devil tempted eve, into doubting the word of God. And that is where it leads to sin.

James 1:14-15
but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

James 4:1
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?

Mark 7:21-22
For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly.

Notice the highlight in all these verses, within? your own desire? enticed? It all starts from within. Yes, we should try to act properly, respond in the right way. But all the more we should deal with our thoughts and emotions.

Stop entertaining those temptations, stop fantasizing.

Matthew 23:26
Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

Look at the importance to dear with our inner being. It's only when we get right our being with God, then can we get right in our doing for Him. We must never allow the emotions and thoughts override the truth, which is what we need to save us from destruction.

- How can God help us to escape? -

1) Impure thoughts are not sin

Impure thoughts only become sin when we entertain them. It's only when we allow them to be rehearsal in our mind, refusing to repent and pray to God for help in getting away from them, then they become sin.

Romans 13:14
Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

Why not just focus on doing the right thing with God, and ignore the wrong things. When we are busy with doing the right thing together with God, we will have no time for the wrong things. It is not about serving blindly, but doing it with Him. Yes, clothe ourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ.

2) Ask God to search our hearts

Never ever forget about the being when we are in the process of doing. Remember, we can never build depth in speed. The only one thing that will stop us from receiving God's truth is because we choose not to. We have decided already which way do we want to take, and in the end we reject everything God shows that is not align with what we think.

Be humble. Surrender. Sometimes, or many times, God's way is just not the same as the way you think it's going to be. But follow. Even though it is going to be tough. Ask Him to search your hearts, check your attitude and motives, get right your intentions.

3) Analyse why we are tempted

There is always a reason behind everything. You commit sexual immorality? Always flirting around? Probably it is because of a deeper reason, insecurity. Or that you are always complaining? Upset? It may be because of your pride? Cause you're unwilling to face your weaknesses and keep putting the blame on others and circumstances? Or because you are always taking things for granted and not giving thanks?

Note down whatever that happens. When you cool down. Read through, and analyse why you behave and react in that way. Know the reason. Repent and pray over those underlying reasons. Pray for God's reserve instead of getting these substitutes for those emptiness in your lives.

4) Reject sinful thoughts

Stop yourself from brooding over those things. Stop yourselves from moving into sin. Pray for God's intervention.

5) Repent of pleasant sinful memories

Sin always comes with certain pleasure. That's how the devil tempt us into sinning against God. Eve was tempted to disobey because she was tempted in the pleasure that she will be receiving upon eating the fruit from the tree of wisdom and knowledge. Repent from committing those sin which brings pleasure.

6) Choose wholesome thoughts

Sometimes our thoughts comes like the rain, it's hard to control and predict. But surely we can choose the wholesome thoughts. We need to discipline our mind.

Romans 8:5
Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.

Philippians 4:8
8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Put your mind on something right! Focus on giving thanks to God. If something bad happens to you, why not take a break and pen down God's blessing, whatever that you want to thank God for. You will find there's so many to give thanks, and that's enough to bring back the smile which that bad thing that took place took away. Live in the spirit, for we have the holy spirit in us since the day Jesus died for us. When we live with Him, surely our mind be peaceful in the spirit as well.

7) Pray to choose wholesome thoughts

I know that it's easy to say, let's choose wholesome thoughts, and difficult to do it when it comes to the point for decision to be made. But don't give up because God loves us. Pray. Pray for His strengthening and His help in this area. Ask Him to remind you, help you to be more determine, help you to persevere, help you to pick the right ones.

2 Corinthians 13:11
Finally, brothers, good-by. Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.

Our weakness can be our greatest asset too - keep us humble.

Tell the devil, yes Im weak, so what? I sometimes get tempted by your tricks and traps, I stumble and fall, Im really a fool. So what? This is me, yes it's me. But I know God loves me for who I am. And He really died for me despite He knows very well I am just somebody who perhaps, will not really appreciate fully. So let me tell you, I just want to love this God who first loves me. And for you, I feel sad for you. Cause you will never understand. You're a bigger fool I find. Anyway, don't bother me, Im off with Him. =) - Jorris

2009-02-25T00:54:00.003+08:00

His blessings.
My Thanksgiving. =)

I thank God that He bless a fruitful shepherding between me and Alina.
I thank God He open our hearts to each other for deep sharings.
I thank God He speaks to me and Alina during that 2 hours plus.
I thank God for such a wonderful sheep.
I thank God that He is going to work in Alina's life in a big way.
- believe not in what that is seen, but in what that is unseen, my girl. Let's go through this together, be there to listen, really. Gambate -

I thank God for a wonderful time of brainstorming for camp mama's shop.
I thank God for Sarah and Geckting, my wonderful partners of the project.
I thank God for committed hearts to serve, despite the limits.
I thank God for the opportunity to serve in the camp, in an unique way.
I thank God for His creativity and ideas that came throughout the meeting.
I thank God that He is going to make this MAMA shop a BIG thing.
- trust in the Lord, with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. -

I thank God for the jog.
I thank God for the rain.
I thank God for my family.
I thank God for the ministries.
I thank God for the caregroup.
I thank God for my life.

It is the season of giving thanks. It had always been.
Have you give thanks for your daily portion?

- He never fails, to give us this day, our daily bread. -

2009-02-24T14:18:00.002+08:00

My second Jog with Him! <3

Im glad I finish the same journey in 15 mins? Around there.
Improvement!

Continue the habit, acquire good temple for Jesus! haa.

Going to meet up with my dearie Alina very soon,
Can't wait for more life sharings!

God, be with us. =)